There’s this girl in my class who has expressed an unusual amount of interest in me. First she said something to me just randomly. And then I said something to the teacher when I got called on and she took it to the next level ever since with the interest. She’s been sitting behind me, talking to me, we realized we both have kittens the same age as each other.
She’s really pretty and I’m pretty sure English is her second language which I’m attracted to. She seems kinda like an outcast, yet she’s very normal in a lot of ways. All sounds good and all. But I just get all these thoughts that she’s Messing with me. And she wants to start a relationship with me in order to break my heart and break up with me.
I got the thought she was lying about having kittens. But then I realized I’m probably being paranoid. I remind myself that 8 months ago I told my therapist “I just need a chance with a girl…just two months…and if it doesn’t work out I will never complain again.” So there’s that, where she IS giving me that CHANCE I wanted. But I hate the paranoid thoughts I can’t trust anyone. Does anyone else experience the same things? Normal for a sz?? I just worry these thoughts will never go away. And once I get too attached whenever that is she will break up with me. Idk. We’re not even going out and I’m taking it very slow and cautiously as a result which I think is the best thing I can do. But man, wish I could trust someone. Seems I can only trust my family and other fellow szs. And even some szs I think are lying to me about being sz. My friend is the only person I can really trust outside my mom and dad. He’s sza and I know for a fact cus I met him in the hospital and Iop years ago.
The thing is, what sparked her to show interest in me. We were talking about ego integrity at the end of life… I told the story to the class about how my uncle told his wife… My aunt… “We had a great life”… When he was on his deathbed. One girl went awwwwwwww and the girl who I’ve talked to a few times gave me a dirty look. Then ever since she’s been expressing interest in me. So like, there’s reason for me to think she would wanna crush my heart like that. Because maybe she sees my Vulnerability. Or maybe she just has the same good family values as me… That’s what I am hoping for but still paranoid a little bit.
You don’t have to trust her in the beginning of the relationship. Focus on having fun and enjoying life. Don’t invest too much into the relationship until you are at a different point in life to consider getting serious.
Your thoughts are pretty delusional. Why would she lie about having a kitten? She gains nothing by breaking your heart. Don’t hurt her so she doesn’t hurt you.
i think you should give her a chance, be friendly and see if it develops good luck
oh and i can see how she could see you as a potential mate with a story like that, probably made her heart melt a little bit, you certainly know how to pull them lucky you
Well the last girl and the one before that completely used me and sabotaged my life and ■■■■■■ with me endlessly for years after while I was deeply mentally sick so i think these thoughts are fairly normal after her… it just seems unfair I had to deal with her because I have residual thoughts related to it. I feel better about this new girl now. The evidence points toward she isn’t messing with me but I wasn’t sure earlier. I’m glad I could get it off my chest. It was this board or my mom. I was gonna share these thoughts with. I feel much better now. Btw I really really like her. It’s like…everyone else in the world could think this girl is absolute scum but if I thought she wasn’t it wouldn’t matter. That type of thing. And trust me no one would think this girl is scum…I’m just saying. There’s a nice feeling In the air.
good luck 