I think the way my life has gone so far… I have to tell a lot of lies whenever I socialize with people.
For example most people don’t know that I had to quit engineering to do BBA when they ask me what have you studied?.. I just lie to them that I did engineering because my parents want to keep it that way because we told everyone in the beginning that I am doing engineering and it’d come as a shock to others if they knew I quit it.
The other thing is that no one knows that I have schizophrenia except very close relatives. So I cannot make them understand my pain and most of them aren’t interested in all that.
So whenever they ask me what I do how I am … I just say I am fine. So if I am lying all the time then how do I socialize with people keeping a straight face? Whenever I socialize with people they don’t want to hear my whole story because that may bore them but I am always willing to listen to others’ problems. But most of the time people only say “hi” “hello”… is everything fine? yes I am fine… nobody cares about others pain and suffering. Nobody is empathetic enough. And if we open up there is a fear that we may be ridiculed.
So what exactly does socializing mean? Is it just a superficial way of living? Or does it really have deep impact on people?
I don’t socialize as well. But my parents and people around me always tell me to do that… I don’t know if it’s effect of the meds or something but I just like staying at home.
No I am not working full time. All I can say is this… please don’t ask why and all… because I have no explanation. My life is turning out to be very dull and boring.
@far_cry0, what Rahul want to say - “he is unable to lie when socializing.” Suffering from SZ is such a problem that I don’t able to speak truth to my family members. ( They don’t allow me. All is alright, eat tablets and work.)