Schizophrenia.com

How to deal with memories - weird, stupid, & embarassing

I did a lot of weird, stupid, and embarrassing things while being psychotic.
From time to time I suffer from flashbacks of such memories.
It’s really hard to deal with.

Any advice?

This is almost painful.

Time. Give it time. That’s all you can do

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I’ll follow this thread because I struggle with the same issue

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These memories are from like 8 or more years ago…
They are still vivid in my head.
I want to erase them all…

Meaning that I haven’t done anything weird, stupid or embarrassing things for the past 7 years.

Don’t know if it’s good or bad.

Oh
I just remember that I did some stupid things about 5 years ago when I got into hospital which was the last time of my hospitalization.

So haven’t done stupid things for the past 4 years. Lol

I haven’t done anything stupid in a year. I’m rooting for the rest of my life of psychotic stupidity free

But how long have you been ill?
I was diagnosed with sz about 10 years ago and the first 5 years was horrible

The onset of the illness was when I was a kid, but I kept my mouth shut and only got my diagnose a year ago, I was 27

So you’ve been untreated for so long?
I too was already weird way before the diagnosis.

Well if we feel bad about having done something stupid in the past then that is a good thing because it will keep us from repeating those mistakes or just stupid things we did.

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Yeah, when psychosis blew on me, I had all kinds of textbook delusions. Really far out there. Did a lot of stupid stuff. Also want to forget about it, but it comes with this. @tobornottob12b is right, it keeps us from repeating the mistakes.

Yes it’s nice if I can think that way.

If that’s the reason why I haven’t done anything weird or stupid for these 4 years, then it’s a good thing :smiley:

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It’s reassuring to know that there’s someone who has the same issue as mine.
I’m not the only one.

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It is! :smile:

It actually made me feel better

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Yes it made me feel better too!!
Maybe sharing is one coping strategy. :blush:

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I would also like to know. I haven’t done anything completely “out there” in almost 4 years but I can’t stop remembering. Nor can i forgive. It really takes its toll especially when my present situation isn’t very bright. Its almost like ptsd in a way. And ive talked about it with different people without clear answers. Ive heard theyve been using mdma (ecstacy) on veterans for ptsd and say it actually works really well. But giving a 20 yr old with SZA mdma even in a therapeutic setting might be a bad idea.

I did a lot of stupid and embarrassing things when I wasn’t doing well…

The way I’ve been coping with the flashback memory is to try and distance myself from the past.

I consider myself to be a different person now then I was then… I can make up for the past by being more patient in the now… being more kind in the now… trying to be more positive thinking.

That helped me a lot.

This idea is purely symbolic… but it sort of told the brain… enough is enough… I wrote down the things I kept beating myself up over… and I told my brain that that is in the past… people have forgiven me… time heals and fades those actions…

Then I burnt the paper… let it go.

Not to say things still don’t creep up and come back… but I work on not beating myself up for them again… and again.

Good luck.

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Yeah, living with the memories of mistakes of our past is like trying to distant ourselves from all the other garbage in this world that we don’t want to be a part of. We can only go so far in trying to disown it entirely, however hard we try to do so.

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I´ve done a few things in my life i felt embarrassed about. One particular thing made me embarrassed for years, i finally got over it a few years back still feel embarrassed about it but i can live with it and got my self esteem back.
I also said something to my dad about my personal life when psychotic and i feel ashamed about it. But what can you do. All you can do is accept this and try to find the bright side in all this and move on.

The only thing that we can really do is to say that we are sorry for having done or said anything in the past to anyone or anything including “ourselves” ,… but only after we have changed enough to actually realize this, and not just doing so in an attempt to rid ourselves of any guilty feelings that are bothering us for that guilt is what causes us to change for the better,… hopefully, anyway,and for all concerned.