Who is Whitaker?
What does this mean?
I couldn’t say that any better! I agree this is what I was trying to say. 
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Untill I came out of my delusions for some hours or days, I did not now anyother way of thinking and feeling. This is probably because of my symptoms starting around 13 and slowly building until that common age 21. I also blamed a dysfunctional family and bad parenting for my thoughts and feelings, which I did not know were out of my control.
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Sounds like a familiar pattern of lifetime Embedded thought delusions and truth to me.
I lived in a rural area with sub-par mental health services, so despite showing symptoms from an early age, they were like “yeah you seem to have difficulties adapting to norms, concentrating, and regulating your emotions, here’s an adhd diagnosis like every other maladaptive teen is gonna get.”
then proceeded to give me strattera, whose only effect was permanent tardive dyskinesia and myoclonic jerks.
When I moved to a normal city, I fought to get evaluated, and they quickly discovered my adhd-diagnosis was baloney, and gave me a schizophrenia diagnosis instead.
I fought it for 2 seconds with the sentence “but I’m not crazy!”, but the shrink was very patient and even sent me on “psychoeducation”, which was a two week course on everything schizohrenia, to help me understand my own brain better.
I have no doubt I have schizophrenia, but I am increasingly convinced I also have some sort of autism.
And I am bitter it took 11 years from I showed the first symptoms, till I finally got some sort of diagnosis that was even halfway correct.
I can’t help but wonder how much further I’d be in recovery now if I’d have gotten help at 9 or 14 instead of 21.
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I was first diagnosed with “Psychosis NOS” after my initial stay at the hospital.
Fell through the cracks after that for several years-- no meds, and no support from a therapist or pdoc.
Found my way back into a partial hospitalization program, and that’s when they told me I have SZA and started me on Abilify.
I honestly didn’t fight the diagnosis-- I’d spent years running from it and was tired of trying to find answers from unreputable sources, one of them being a “shaman”.
There are days where I feel like the past 10-ish years were a fluke. Then there’s days where I know for sure I’ve got an illness.
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And I am bitter it took 11 years from I showed the first symptoms, till I finally got some sort of diagnosis that was even halfway correct.
I can’t help but wonder how much further I’d be in recovery now if I’d have gotten help at 9 or 14 instead of 21.
I too am trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. I wonder how much improvement I could have made with early intervention; (I’m fully disabled); lack in social department; I definitely don’t trust anyone. It took me weeks to post here I felt like I was being watched.
Honestly, I think I’ve been delusional my whole life. I have had more hours of psychosis than I care to try to admit and I’m beginning to conquer with what Edgar Allan Poe said “I became insane with horrible moments of sanity”.
I too am trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. I wonderthe same thing.
I nearly literally fought my diagnosis because I threatened to hit the counselor if he didn’t change it. They took me to a place for bad crazy people and after a while I decided that was really a dumb idea.
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