So these days Ié had a few conflicts with my mom and I slept badly and in the morning I was woken up by a voice calling my name. Now, hypnagogic hallucinations arre something that most people have, however, it made me realise how most of you feel when having auditory hallucinations during the waking hours.
Surprisingly, I was glad to have these voices in the morning made me think of you guys, and made me understand better how you feel in your everyday life.
Now, beause of my lack of hallucinations I long thought I was not SZ. It’s a bit confusing. But then again, 30% of SZ have never had a hallucination. I’m simply in that percent.
It’s funny how I was ashamed for this long (10 years) of my (undiagnosed) illness and how now I’m trying to learn more about myself and other people that suffer from it. I started writing an autobiographic novel, came out good, it made me able to accept that I’m SZ, it was cathartic. Also, writing here has made me feel more in touch with myself.
Now, the question: How did you get to acept your illness? Was it spontaneous, or gradual and full of ups and downs as it was for me? What made you finally do it? How did you stop fighting to prove you were not sick? Did you ever fight to prove that? Etc.