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Well, I am still denying it / I am still not accepting it. I honestly do not know how to accept it. Some people say it will come with time…
Even if I’m ill, how do I know it’s true?
I was in denial and till this day there are times when I am still in denial.
Apparently, I’m not the only one
Ive already knew it in a way. I was feeling like freak since years ago already. But i felt bad, yes. Ive started to accept it better with the help of the meds. In fact, its my illness in a way to feel like a freak and my feras come from this i find…
It didn’t phase me. I was in denial for the first two or three months after I got diagnosed. When it finally dawned on me that my parents were right and I had schizophrenia it didn’t phase me. Heck, I knew I had problems but you could have called it schizophrenia, you could have called it “Fred” or you could have called it oatmeal. I didn’t care. It really didn’t hit me that hard. The possible reason is that I was so psychotic that any label was just an anecdote to my life at the time. I was too busy fighting for my sanity to dwell on the label, and it is true to this day. Call it compartmentalizing or lucky or the complete acceptance of my life. The label didn’t phase me, I just took it in stride. I know this may be unusual but its the god-honest truth.
It took me six years to figure out I was sick after being diagnosed. I really thought there was a conspiracy against me and I am still not convinced there wasn’t.
I was delusional, paranoid and in denial.
still in denial… in fact i think i can get off my meds but my dad wont allow me…
I was none of these answers. For me, it was like relief. Oh, ok, so that is what is wrong!
Complete and utter devastation and hopelessness.
That was 15 years ago. It gets harder every year
For a few months I thought the world had changed and everybody was lying (including my mum). Then I thought it must have been the weed etc and if I never went back to it I would return to normal. After I stopped smoking and I kept cycling in and out of psychosis every time I tried to come off the psych meds I suppose I accepted it. I have family who are similarly diagnosed.
There are also those, like my mother, that even after 30 years think that even their diagnosis and hospitalizations were part of the conspiracy.
I have no schizophrenia, but delusional disorder. Actually, at first nobody told me I had it, and they did well, because I was being delusional and paranoid and wouldn’t have believed them. Then, suddenly, I started to think that my visits to the pdoc were more meaningful than I first thought. One day I searched the internet for schizphrenia, and I was shocked, I thought I had it. The next time I told it to my doc and he was happy. After some more sessions he said I probably had delusional disorder.
Months has passed… at the time, it was really shocking, because I figured it out on my own and didn’t know for sure because no one told me about it.
Hungry, irritable, and like I had a slight cold.
I dismissed my pdoc and told her, "but I don’t want to be schizophrenic."
She just looked at me like I had 3 heads on my shoulders (like her normal) and shook her head.
Only when my fav psych hosp pdoc explained what sz was in a way that made sense to me, and actually fit me, then I kinda had to agree with him.
I still think when all the planets align just right, I pass as normal as the next Sz, but when the sz hits the fan…I’m all over the place.
I initially denied it and it cost me seven months of insanity and going through a handful of hospitals within a year…turned into utter horror as the disease got deeper and deeper in my belief system…once I stabilized I became suicidal because I lost my career in architecture. still hurts but it is something I had to accept.
In schock;but thankful to my doctor for telling me.Ihad sz for years.before I got diagnosed with it.
I was like “ohh well.hmm. I don’t want to be schizophrenic, but I guess your saying it so maybe you might be right. But I don’t agree.” He tilted his head and said “that’s common” and began talking about reality distortion. This was back in January.
And I’m the same way with times I’m all over the place.
I had a mix of crying and denial.
I was honestly relieved. I had spent most of my life feeling like a complete freak. Everywhere I went, I was always the unusual one. I thought I was completely alone in the world, and nobody would ever understand me.
Then, suddenly, someone found a name for what was wrong with me, and showed me the path to recovery. I was excited to find out that there were other people like me, and I immediately set about finding all you fine people! I am actually proud of my label, because it’s the only word that has ever accurately described my experience of life.
Maybe I’m weird for thinking this.
I was psychotic when I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, so I felt nothing.
When I got a little bit better I felt lonely. Very, very lonely.