I was 50 when my first grandson was born. I decided then that I wanted to live long enough to see him turn 50.
Just over 37 years to go.
Health is important I would not want to end up in a nursing home.
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I want to experience having a grandchild, but at the same time, I donāt want to experience living in a nursing home. I want to go quickly.
As long as possible.
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I have a feeling Iāll be dead by the time I am 38.
My voice even told me that the other day.
So thereās not much time left for me.
At least until I die. After that I will play it by ear.
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Iāve lived a long life. I turn 55 next month. All I really pray about when I pray about my death is that it not be too painful. I am afraid of a painful death like a car accident or something. Some cancers can be dreadfully painful and woesome.
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i thought that too. Iām 56 now and today I went to get gas for my car and treated myself to some snacks inside the convenience store. i also went into Walgreenās and bought a 12-pack of soda. I drove around enjoying the great weather, checking out the occasional pretty women, and listening to Led Zeppelin on my CD player.
My life was really, really, screwed up in my twenties with paranoid schizophrenia, a bad crack habit, few friends, no money, and just all kinds of problems. Those are the reasons I thought I would never make it to forty. Things change. I survived all that and Iām glad. Now Iām clean and sober, and I have an easy job and people like me. Go figure. Life is a mixture of good and bad. Its not hopeless.
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@77nick77 You are always very positive. I appreciate that. Thank you.
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Thank you. It takes effort and practice. but I do it on here and I do it in real life.
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As long as i can
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A very long long time i wish to live, but not as flesh.
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Sometimes I wish I had cancer and sometimes I get this feeling deep down Inside to fight survive.
Cancer sucks. Itās an awful way to go. If I were fantasizing about blameless death, Iād pick sudden fatal stroke or bisected aorta. Not cancer, which beats you up so brutally before it finally relinquishes you.
I want to live a good long while, though. I have cats to care for and a niece and nephew to watch grow up and books to read and a partner I love.
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Iām 31 and would like to live to about 70 to 80 but not sure if thatāll happen since I kinda screwed my heart up a little smoking synthetic cannibinoids. I had the delusion a few years ago that I could live forever like a vampire. I also denied the fact that I was SZ at the time. Iāve gained insight since then but I am still afraid to die.
I am 20, and I want to live a long and prosperous life. But if I die young, I wouldnāt care as long as itās not a painful death. I have achieved many things, and am proud of the life I have had, and the way I lived it, so I donāt have any remorse.
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For the longest time, I was hoping to be dead by forty. Now, for the first time in my life, I actually want to stick around as long as possible, to have as much time as I can with my loved ones. Itās a strange and nice feeling.
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A little lesson from Lorien on the nature of mortality/immortality:
I dont enjoy life. So hopefully not long
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Hopefully iāll die in my early 60s to something smoking related. Cuz of severe anhedonia iāve lost my will to live. If something kills me earlier iād consider myself lucky. Iām tired of putting up with this ā ā ā ā . (Not suicidal, mods)
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Agreed. Due to anhedonia Iāmean kinda just waiting to die lol. Itās a sad outlook but yeahā¦just kinda feel like Iām waiting around to die. Although I did get hit by a car a few weeks ago in a blackout lol and I still lived, and Iāve attempted suicide multiple times but have still managed to live and do no serious damage to myselfā¦dying is hard Iāve learned.
Ironically enough Iāve managed to lose my mother and my brother within ten years of eachotherā¦but I canāt seem to die.
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