I still don’t believe it even after 5 years so I just am wondering how you guys got there and how long it took?
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After I was diagnosed it made sense to me but I didn’t understand fully that medication was the solution. I just didn’t think about that part. So I spent 4 or more years after my diagnosis unmedicated and out there. I also spent 2 years before my diagnosis not capable of taking care of myself at all because I was sick. It’s funny though when I first started hearing voices sometimes they would say “your schizophrenic…” all spooky like and I immediately thought this was not true and say back to them “no I’m not cause I know you can hear me” lol. Its funny now. I’ve been taking meds now for 2 years now and I have been better and sometimes I think that everything I went through like didn’t happen and I think maybe I dont have schizophrenia at all. This thought scares me cause then I feel like I have been lying all this time. I also feel guilty if I’m feeling alright like I’m supposed to be sick. I dont know…
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When I was committed to the hospital for the first time with severe depression and suicidal ideations and gestures.
I was sick for at least four years before several stints in different psych wards changed my mind. It was the last time in the hospital, my longest stay, 21days, that I finally decided that I wanted to be well. I started taking my meds religiously. The next couple of years went by with out much change. I thought that I was better even tho i still carried delusions and heard voices. Now i know that i need to actively participate in my treatment if i ever want to get better. That means therapy and discussion of dosage and symptoms with my doctor every few months or sooner since I’ve been having problems.
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My Dr really jumped the gun.
I had nearly no symptoms for about 2 years after I was diagnosed, then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
It took a couple of years from onset to get my insight back and look back upon my delusional behavior with clarity. It was a big realization when it happened though.
After my second psychotic break that landed me in the psych ward it took 5 years unmedicated…
I knew I was in trouble the second that they asked me about superpowers.
I thought I was cured - until I relapsed. Eight years later and I’ve only come to a greater awareness of my sza now but even despite that I still sometimes can’t understand that I have it
I sometimes still have moments when I don’t believe that I’m ill. It’s been 4 years since a false diagnosis, 2,5 since the correct one. Only starting to realize that I’m ill after 3 hospitalizations.
I was in the acute phase of schizophrenia for 9 1/2 years before I was taken to a hospital by the police. I responded well to medication with the hallucinations stopping within a few weeks and the delusions subsiding in about 3 years of being medicated. I developed good insight into my illness about 5 years after hospitalization.
I was never formally diagnosed, but if you read my messages on this forum its pretty obvious that I am some sort of a crazy person. It took me six crushing years before I started to take any decisive action.
I partially blame my mother who still refuses to admit that its just cursed schizophrenia, instead of getting me to a doctor the day I started mad rants.
I try to find medication but its all very slow and tedious. I should probably just bust into a Ward and demand attention.
Fairly quickly for me. At age 19 I was put in my first psyche ward, then released to a group home for schizophrenics.
After about 4 months of denial my parents took me to a psychiatrist who happen to belong to our church. He talked to all three of us than had my parents leave the room so he could talk to me one-on-one.
The first thing he said was that my parents are really worried about me. Then he asked me some questions about my mental state. I told him nothing was wrong with me, that it was my parents who had all the problems and that I was fine. I saw nothing wrong about having to see a psychiatris and living in a house for schizophrenics. I couldn’t put two and two together.
Just a few weeks later I was watching TV by myself upstairs (“Dynasty” was on, it was 1980). And it just came to me; maybe I was really ill. Maybe I wasn’t right and maybe all these people weren’t wrong. And that they were right that I was schizophrenic. I accepted that.
The funny thing was that it wasn’t some earth shaking revelation, it didn’t change me and didn’t change my life. I didn’t freak out one bit about the realization. And that was 40 years ago and I know it’s a cliche but I never became my illness.
It helped that I looked, acted and sounded normal. I pretty much went out in public and I didn’t have to consciously hide it because no one could tell. I spent a year at the home going through hell but I still walked the crowded downtown all the time.
I used to go in the donut shop for doughnuts, I had my favorite used book store that I spent a lot of time in, I took walks all over. Hell, a few mornings I got up at 6:00 am, put on my jogging shorts and jogged down the streets before anybody else was out.
But yeah, I might be coming a little apart at the seams now due to stress and some other things but most of my 40 years with schizophrenia I’ve done normal things and had lots of normal experiences.
Believe me, I’ve felt strong symptoms most of my life. I sat in the comedy clubs and enjoyed the different comedians or went out to eat but when I got home I still struggled with this disease, obviously.
I sat at the beach or flew across the country, or sat through the air show and I was paranoid and couldn’t relax, but hey, it was fun and like another poster said, I racked up some great memories for my old age.
Just as recently as ten years ago my symptoms were pretty bad. I still went to work and functioned but I also sat in front of the TV and ate dinner and had episodes every night where I was an inch away from checking into a hospital. But it’s true for me that my symptoms have gotten “not so bad” as I age. I freak out about the torture from the neighbors but it’s calm right now and my mind is relatively clear, a little lull in the storm and I feel OK.
Anyone remember “Dynasty”?
I’ve had paranoia and other problems before but never connected the dots to an illness, after my psychotic break after waking up in the in-patient care unit, I realized I had experienced something that put into doubt my mental health, and I had enough insight from there to accept treatment, and eventually I accepted the diagnosis for what it is, and how the things I’d experienced earlier in life had subtly affirmed the diagnosis.
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