Schizophrenia.com

How do you feel

#1

Hi. It feels nice to be outside but it feels uncomfortable walking on the streets. I feel like I have to carry my composure perfectly and I feel somewhat pressured. I keep telling myself to be me. But those forces keep me from remembering who I am.

I stopped socializing with neighbors my demeanor has become more business like. One thing about isolation is that it feels safe. No margin for error.

I had a knack of getting in trouble running with the wrong crowd as a teenager. I was letting the wrong influences in. I’m 31 now and learned what to stay away from.

What used to anger me I’ve learned not to let it. Life The meter is running and I feel I have to be at My best. It’s not all the time I act this way. I relax when I can. But out in public it’s hard to carry myself relaxed.

Always feel somebody taking brief glances. You can’t catch everything. But what you do miss you wish you would of caught it. That’s just the way I feel about life right now, how do you feel?

0 Likes

#2

To use one word - discombobulated - when I’m around people and closed up.

0 Likes

#3

I feel like an observer of human’s and human nature. I feel curiously apart from the throng that passes me on the streets. I feel like the narrator of those old 1970’s anthropology films of Jane Goodhall watching the higher brained species.

I observe and ponder and wonder what I’m missing. What communication unspoken is shut off from me?

I can either get really depressed about this and upset and get negative. Or I can watch more and try to learn more. I am lucky because I am human so it’s Ok to try and interact with other humans.

But I still get a little sad with myself when I’m too cautious with humans. I shouldn’t have to be and it is my own doing and my own paranoia that I’m battling. But I’m learning.

For the most part on an emotional level, I’m pretty wrapped up in myself and I’m feeling personally better every day. So that makes me feel better about the situation around me. Which makes me more willing to try and reach out to others… circular thinking.

So, as long as tomorrow is better then today, I’ll be happy.

2 Likes

#4

Since my divorce in October, I have previously been really down, but day by day, the more I try to feel better, I DO feel better…I’ve taken up painting and music again and after creating art or playing music on my instruments, I feel accomplishment. That’s something I try to focus on…accomplishment. No matter what the task…now since I have a new stove I cook to make myself feel better…tomorrow I’m going to prepare a dish of olive oil covered vegetables in the oven…(asparagus, brussel sprouts, potatoes and red onion if you want to try it)…Tomorrow also I am going to stop smoking and I am very excited about it. So lately I am “up” emotionally…

4 Likes

#5

I still have some residual paranoia, I think I always will, but I keep focused on work. I am open to new friendly people, however, like people you meet outside while smoking a cigarette or running into people I know on campus, but for the most part I identify a lot with the passing by ROTC kids- they stare straight ahead and walk straight to class. That’s what I do too.

I feel very OK in the gym, in the psych department building or at home. I keep to environments which I have invested time into, I feel more of a part of those places. You wont find me clubbing or strolling the streets downtown, LOL you can find me at a friend’s house, my living room, in the gym or in class.

Elyn Saks said that the key for people who have schizophrenia is structure and finding a life that suits you- I feel like I have both.

0 Likes

#6

These are the times and days of are lives with out them we would sharely die I colored my hair be couse it was gray I dubbled my shoe string as not to fall I drove in the snowy rain to get a pop at the convenet store I watch a kid skate on the street as I nother rode his bike with a rope so how do I feel most of the time depends opon the rhyme you see but hey that’s me

2 Likes

#7

Getting better everyday, making some improvement especially when that improvement is less symptoms. It has been a form of recovery. although sz doesn’t heal like a wound to the skin. There are days worth living, better days of well being. I’m focusing so much on me, I forget the throngs out there.

0 Likes

#8

Yeah I too feel comfortable in the gym. More like a feeling of natural habitat. I can grunt when going heavy and no one bats an eyelash at it. I have a shirt that says ANIMAL, you know from their bodybuilding products. Well yeah I like that shirt and when up in the gym, Its good to let the animal within you exercise the weights.

0 Likes

#9

Good luck quitting smoking. Cold turkey was almost impossible for me. I opted for nicorette gum, and has that made my no smoking experience a lot easier to go through.

0 Likes

#10

Yes dude that is the truth! In the gym we are all animals, thats whats so awesome about it.

I go to a powerlifting gym and I can scream while lifting if I want and no one even notices. When the powerlifting team trains, they all are yelling at eachother like SQUAT and UP and PULL

I love it, so freedom

0 Likes

#11

scared…

0 Likes

#12

Thought I’d get in on this one
How do I feel?
To start with tired had a long night debating with my self, everywhere I read they say that ‘we’ don’t cause it still its hard not to blame yourself and look for the exact point you did or said something that possibly pushed your loved one over the edge

But yeah on the most part I think all of what I’m feeling is guilt thanks for reading :smile:

1 Like

#13

well, two weeks out of every month i suffer with migraines. i think it’s hormonal. this pisses me off becoz i feel in so much pain that i take to my bed and do nothing. then i feel lazy. when i don’t have migraines for the next two weeks i feel good regardless of what the voices say or threaten. i’m not paranoid about my neighbours, friends or people in the street. i was once but i don’t believe in that crap anymore, meds or no meds. i’m quite a confident person. just would like to b more productive is all. this is week one of the migraine fortnight so right now i’m feeling pretty useless. although i did manage to go shopping, do two washes, two dries and pick up a prescription so it’s not a total loss i guess. if i didn’t have voices the only thing that would bother me is not being productive enough. i want to b a doing things person!

0 Likes

#14

today i feel glad to be alive.

0 Likes

#15

I feel that my mind is paranoid for long stretches of time. Before I realize that i was thinking irrational. it’s important to guide the thinking process and not let it carry you away in paranoid torment.

1 Like