how do you deal with someone who is a manipulator?
I tend to get confused with whether someone is trying to manipulate me or not , im not sure if thats just being paranoid or just suspicious.
at times i feel i could be overly suspicious and get confused on whether i am thinking rationally or not.
At times i get feelings like “everyone is out to screw me or take advantage of me” which i know is irrational so its something that is difficult for me to know whether its just my brain overreacting or what
i did some thinking about it , in my case I believe I had a normal reaction:
I will try to write what happened as short as possible.
Friend in business: He has some business insider info he offered to sell me for 1000 dollars, I ended up declining at the time as I just wasnt interested enough in it.
1 week later: Friend, asking me : “Please buy the information off me I am having anxiety about having no money, I have credit card debt” , I will give you 2 pressure washers with it for the same 1000 dollar price . " (I could sell both of these for over 800 dollars each easily)
So i thought why not Ill help him out while I help myself.
Tonight when we were chatting online he says to me out of no where : “Buy me a starbucks card? like a 100 dollars?”
I said , Dude that is not how you go about this… you cant just ask me to buy you something like that, that is something you give as a gift you dont ask for it.
then he started complaining how he gave me the best deal ever blah blah blah.
so i called him on it and he got all irritated about it.
I feel he was trying to manipulate me thinking that I suddenly “owe him” . thats not how life works… in my opinion
I did tell him I was thankful for the deal though.
The way I view it is, if someone wants you to do something for them, and you want to do it, then do it, no strings attatched.
If you don’t want to do what is asked, say No. If they insist in any way, tell them No again, and stop asking. If they persist, don’t argue, just stare at them like they were a a cockroach munching on your sandwich without permission.
Don’t engage in any more interaction with them.
Let them have a fit and foam at the mouth while you continue to pick at imaginary linen strings attatched to your shirt.
They will eventually lose steam and either walk off mad, (who cares, a friend wouldn’t do THAT to you) and you say good riddance, or they try guilt to shame you into givig them what they want.
Don’t do it. Say no and mean it.
If you give in at this point, the next time they want something from you they will know they have to pester you until you cave in.
My partner runs his own business so he encounters this kind of thing all the time; and he’ll respond accordingly, depending on whether or not he wants to buy whatever it is that is being offered and whether or not profit can be made based on the sale price.
Now, he offered something to you for X amount - good deal or not, that was the exchange. You’re not running a charity so you don’t owe him Starbucks vouchers. Tactics, credit for trying, points removed for failing lol
Manipulation is a sort of sales tactic when you think about it; the best sales people rip you off so well that you’re reaching in your wallet before you’ve even seen the product.