To your diagnosis? Was it a relief, or was it scary?
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there were external elements,
and the doc wanted to brain storm with me,
he was an old man,
and wanted to help.
it was appreciated.
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I had no clue and searched for the meaning of sz after 1.5 years of dx’d.
Sometimes I feel like at least there is a name and meds for it.
I can live with it,
when I worked and go out there are people,
so silent they don’t express themselves,
Then I think to self what will be their issue.
And yeah some time really scares me after delusion of grandeur.
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who told you that, delusions of grandeur?
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Said what ? on delusion on grandeur? Sorry did not get you.
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well, why don’t you get it.
never mind.
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I don’t want to get it because of the result on what I do,
when I have this delusion,
I cannot decide whats wrong,
I feel everything I do is right.
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I was psychotic and very paranoid. In a way it led me to the old site on the internet and I started the process of getting on meds and getting a life again. Took a while but diagnosis was a good thing for me.
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I wasn’t scared at the time, but I was alarmed because it made them much more likely to put me on stultifying drugs.
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yeah, they were like something nobody did, right, family and friends and neighbors, pills. why now?
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I didn’t believe that I was schizophrenic.
I thought the voices and delusions were real.
I only accepted my diagnosis after my last hospital stay.
I didn’t have voices then just delusions.
I had voices for maybe eight years but they went away thankfully.
It was horrible and it hurt.
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It didn’t mean anything to me. It was just a word.
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I already knew. It was just that now I had a word for it.
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Literally nothing changed. I never saw my diagnosis verified until I was 23 and my psychiatrist showed me my medical chart. I saw it written down: Paranoid schizophrenia. That said, when I was 19 I went into my first psyche ward. After a week and a half I was put in a house for schizophrenics. I was in total denial that anything was wrong with me but after a few months it finally dawned on me that I had a mental illness. I guess that’s when I knew I had schizophrenia but like I said, it was not a huge life changing realization. I was suffering and going through all kinds of weird perceptions but there was not a point in time where I said to myself, “Wow, you’re schizophrenic.” Life just flowed on.
It seems weird now, but I think I must have forgotten my diagnosis or something. No one asked me if I was schizophrenic and I didn’t tell anyone so it was a surprise when I saw it written down when I was 23. It still didn’t change anything. I went home as usual, went to my job as usual and just carried on. My diagnosis has never been a huge deal. It is secondary to how I see myself. If no one mentions it I am happy to just live my life and do all my normal things like go to work, live independently and do everything that is necessary to live independently. I don’t tell anyone my diagnosis and few people know.
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My first diagnosis was sz, which was a misdiagnosis. Only about a year ago I’ve received my psychotic depression diagnosis. I didn’t think much of it, but to be fair, psychotic depression often brings very intense depression.
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i actually cannot even remember…those days i was an absent minded nut case
now i am just a nut case
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I didnt believe it first, so i went on and off medication for a while. But now ive reached a good place and have been stable so i have no complaints.
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I thought “well atleast i have some answers”
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I had been in hospital for 3 weeks, and I asked them why I was there
When they told me I had Schizophrenia, I was happy to get an answer
Then I googled what it was and saw the prognosis and went absolutely mad
I got restrained a few times, and when I calmed down I demanded they released me
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When first diagnosed I had very bad self stigma. I read that schizophrenia is like cancer of the mind. It scared me and horrified me that I would have such a horrible mental illness.
I realized later on when the illness really hit that I can survive fine and I am less obsessed with all the bad things about the illness.
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