how did you come to realize you had schizophrenia?
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I suspected schizophrenia or schizoaffective for a while, but in 2015 or 2016 I went inpatient and my doctor sat me down and explained I had schizoaffective disorder.
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I stopped my meds, went psychotic, couldn’t maintain relationships with people or live with my family, then got violent, homicidal and suicidal. Ended up in mental hospital after 1-2 years. Then I knew that I have schizophrenia and needed meds for life. Now I can maintain relationships and friends, I am not violent, not homicidal and not suicidal.
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Realized I talked about going to school and work for 9+ years and tried doing something. Can’t even brush teeth and shower and change clothes right now. I mainly just live to smoke cigs and drink energy drinks. I try to read but I figure my brain is turning to mush with all these chemicals and I don’t exercise. Topamax has a numbing effect on the brain but it’s sort of relaxing. It does dumb one down but it also helps me lose weight. I’m tired of being 290 lbs. I look fat. I’m not healthy.
I used to be a hard working college student. I achieved my goal of getting into my dream school with an acceptance rate of 15% from a competitive applicant field. I did it but it doesn’t matter anymore. It was 9 years ago. Furthermore, college students don’t really have much life experience or have achieved much. I was excellent at community college but below average at university for my new major – math. I could barely keep up and then I got schizophrenia. That was 9 years ago. I’m not even sure why I smoked pot. It was like a different version of me, but not really. Something changed.
I had a mental breakdown. But something did happen, but no one cares and I rather it just be that way now. I feel like I used to be important or could have been some body but ended up being a random statistic (schizophrenic).
There is some doubt on the origin of my schizophrenia like how it happened. I don’t believe it’s solely genetics because I had aliens mess with me constantly in like every life I ever had. I realized and came to the conclusion we live in a computer game (I prefer simulation) and that it keeps restarting or rebooting for me from my perspective after I pass away in the future. It’s like playing Diablo the video game from blizzard on hardcore mode. No progress saved except for me at the year 2011 when I got my schizophrenia. I cannot go back and prevent it. Furthermore, it seems like it has updated and now I wake up or my time loop begins not at 2011 but at 2013 now. It’s sad because I have memories before 2011 and it feels real like I was normal and stuff.
I think I got a severe case and bad prognosis and low hope. I think things can change. Currently, I’m just doing “research” and educating myself.
I didn’t know until a student psychiatrist at the med school diagnosed me with schizoeffective disorder back in the 1990’s. I went because of my mother’s insistence, not on my own doing.
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r u still considered schizoaffective?
They changed it to paranoid schizophrenia when I was in the psychiatric hospital in 2008, but I think the SzA is the correct diagnosis.
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I suspected either bipolar or sz in myself for eleven years before a psychiatrist finally diagnosed me sza.
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do you have manic type moods, or depressive type moods? is it just not as noticeable such that they don’t keep you at schizoaffective? i have manic feelings, especially when not medicated, but it’s a lot more subtle than most bipolar people, so they aren’t so sure they should switch me back to schizoaffective.
The ones I notice are depressive moods, where I want to drink. I haven’t really noticed manic moods much. The mood swings got better when I switched from Zyprexa to Abilify.
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@anon28145038: I have a lot in common with your experience. I also went to jc and got into a decent school. I lost it when I started smoking pot and had to leave the uni. I went back after a year off and got my degree. Perhaps you can do the same. 9 years is a long time but it’s certainly not out of the question for you to reregister and finish school. You don’t have to go to the same uni, you could find one not as rigorous, and now with covid it would be online (which may be beneficial).
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I don’t have sz. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 17. My psychiatrist gave me the diagnosis of psychotic depression due to my long remissions.
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I never knew I had it, I had anosognosia. It was after my mom was tired of me screaming at invisible people that she took me to the psychiatrist. I didn’t immediately accept it though, it took me some time, it was when I saw the voices were responding to the meds that I had to accept it.
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Initially. I self diagnosed before the major or obvious symptoms that psychosis entail showed up.
This was 2015. I told a relative - I’m thinking as if or like, I am schizophrenic.
I had more or less forgotten about this for a few years and wanted nothing to do with mental health information and then when I went for a second visit to hospital. I realised after a dr was saying something during the meeting that it was schizophrenia and for some reason I believed her and it was as if I never knew or suspected it ever in the past.
This was 2018 or 19.
I was in the mental hospital, and I asked the doctors why I was there.
They took me into a room and told me I had Schizophrenia.
When I left the room, I Googled Schizophrenia and safe to say I lost my temper with them, and was forcibly medicated…
I discharged from services two weeks after leaving hospital, and it took me a further two years to realise what I had fully, and that the Olanzapine had put 35 kilos of weight on me :-/
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Bigfoot told me. He can’t keep a secret worth a damn.
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When doctors pulled me to the side and gave me a print of an article, about an patient thinking she believes she’s sand particles
Me: haha no way it doesn’t make sense
Doctors: you came saying your Satan AND Jesus
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My mom had it, but never talked about it. I read a book about it once. I was familiar with the saying:hearing voices. So I assumed that’s what it was. I didn’t really do anything about it for 6 years, then saw a doctor.
I thought the whole world was delusional and I was the only sane one.
My psychologist gave me the name of a psychiatrist. I immediately made an appointment. After a few visits I asked her what’s wrong with me. She said I had delusional paranoia.
I googled delusional paranoia but couldn’t really get the picture of what was wrong with me. Later on I found out I had paranoid sz on a document that she completed.
It was only then when I started to google about psz. It still took some time to gain some insight.
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In 2013 I had some persecutory delusions. Later I had religious delusions and then later I got negative symptoms like not shaving, showering and changing clothes every day. Then I developed anhedonia, avolition and apathy. I also had paranoias, depression and anxieties.
So I think all those things added up equal schizophrenia.