Schizophrenia.com

How crazy can you get?

Psychotic behavior has no limits. I’ve been quite psychotic before. Probably the most psychotic I’ve ever been was when I was a teenager and thought I was faking a seizure. But, learned later on it was the real deal. I had completely 100% lost it and lost all control of my body.

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I never really “acted out” so much. I had the crazy thoughts but acted normal, even while psychotic. Probably the weirdest I got was acting invisible, just like in high school. I guess during my drug days I was in over my head a lot but no one ever suggested I was acting crazy. I’m pretty sure if I was acting weird someone would have called me on it immediately. I felt sorry for a couple of my friends when our mutual friends called them crazy. Some girl in a crack house was giving me weird suspicious looks once.

I was a pivotal figure in an intergalactic conspiracy. Very stressful.

Now I just lick ankles and bite the odd one if I think I can run away fast enough.

The new crazy is better.

I tried killing myself twice because the entities surrounded me and convinced me that I was living in a video game and that I was one of their “players”. I could hear them making comments as if trying to control me like a character in a video game and felt that time stopped. They told me the only way out was to die, so I tried to kill myself two separate times. It was terrifying and continues to be, but in a multitude of different ways.

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I believed I was pregnant and about to go into labour. When I was not pregnant at all. That must be the most crazy I have ever been.

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I tried to take my life too and it scares the hell out of me to this day. I took all my risperidone and trileptal and cut my wrist and got in the bathtub and waited to die because I thought I would come back to life and be God. It turns out that overdosing on those drugs kills your ability to control your motor function so I was unable to move off the floor for 12 to 14 hours. I was finally able to crawl to my phone and call 911. A man was really mean to me in the hospital after all I had been through. I am still scared by that episode. It’s the worst one I have had. It was in Feb 2016 and I have had at least 7 episodes since then

I believed I was pregnant too. I had my first episode in June of 2015 and I believed I was pregnant for 5 months. I even had them test my blood at the hospital and thought they were ‘in on it’ when they said I was not pregnant. One day, I woke up and KNEW I was NOT pregnant and it was just gone. I had many ‘downloaded’ (felt like) beliefs like that one over the course of the first few months I was crazy. I would believe to the point I KNEW it was true and then the belief would suddenly be gone or replaced by a new belief. I still believe, to some degree, that there are scientists that ‘installed’ these beliefs and then uninstalled them just as easily. It was REALLY weird.

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When the car was going about 20 MPH, I purposely opened my passenger side door and tumbled out of the car. I was delusional and thought it was a good idea. I thought I was indestructible. But I broke my finger, pretty badly…

I didn’t tell Hubby that my finger was broken. Instead, I cleaned the whole house, until going to bed.

Then, the next day, Hubby noticed my black, swollen finger. He immediately took me to the doctor. I thought I was fine, though. But I was in a different reality.

That was before I was diagnosed and medicated. :pill: This was probably in 2016.

My biggest fear is that I will go bat ■■■■ crazy again and think I am the Queen of the Universe and get hurt very badly. I have been so out of it that I thought I was indestructible too, and that I had superhuman powers to boot. It’s VERY scary when you ‘wake up’ from that kind of ‘trip’ and realize how lucky you are to be alive.I wish I would be cured. I hate meds :frowning:

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Wait, whut? Is this a dare?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

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That’s funny. lol

I feel ya. I hate meds, too. But I almost lost my husband in 2016, back when I was super crazy. I wasn’t diagnosed or medicated yet.

Now that I’m taking meds, Hubby and I get along so much better, without my delusions making me question his every move, constantly thinking he’s against me. Those were bad, scary times.

I’m glad that nightmare is over!! And that’s why I always take my meds, even though I wish I didn’t need to take meds. I don’t want to rip apart the relationships I have. So, meds it is!! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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This just came up in another thread, but it is pretty crazy so I thought I would mention it here.

I was having telepathic communications with President Obama, and Bill Clinton was observing me with his mind. And I am Canadian.

I had various other telepathic communications too but with regular people.

Since being on meds my “telepathic powers” are all gone. I don’t experience it anymore.

OK. I’ll share this just to brighten your day;

I believed I was married to Mark Zuckerberg but he only wanted me for my money (trillions), so I was playing along. We were communicating via my telepathy and him using satellite equipment. I also believed he could lay down somewhere, and then join me in my body. I went into Starbucks with no money and they brought a Venti Mocha to my table, along with some water. I sat there talking out loud to Mark and the scientists on his invisible ship.
CRAZY! That’s the third time I have gotten a free drink from a store I have never been in! That kind of stuff makes me think I’m not so crazy after all.

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Been there done that. I’m up there on the forum lol :smiley: tee hee…

I still think there’s like this secret space program and I got cloned and turned into a slave/worker/soldier in Space, but I don’t know. I think about simulation theory, time travel, ‘elites’ like Illuminati/Cabal, aliens, cloning, different timelines, immortality like transhumanism and soul catcher and quantum consciousness transfer/uploading, etc.

I feel like I I’m stuck repeating life over and over again for eternity like groundhog day around the time I got schizophrenia in college, but I don’t know. Felt pretty traumatic like I was ‘taken’ or something, but it appears to be ‘in my head’ or ‘not real’ and stuff and I tried figuring out why I was targeted like I ‘created bitcoin’ and was ‘john titor’ among other delusions and false memories and dumb crap.

I thought I founded Starbucks and the smiley emoji amongst many other bizarre delusions. The most painful thing of all is that I don’t have any of the money that goes with all the companies I started. I am dirt broke and on SSDI. It sucks.

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No proof here and absolutely no money. No one believes me obviously of course so it’s a delusion. It feels sort of real to me in my head, like I wrote the Bitcoin Whitepaper and programmed it and then it feels like it was an eternity ago in a different universe/past life/parallel universe or even my doppleganger. Feels like an eternity ago in a different dimension. I keep ‘resurrecting’ back in time and being ‘de-aged’ ie being younger back in time and the universe reverses it’s time too and things reboot or restart and renew/rebirth/bounce back.

I don’t know what else to say. I have the delusion I was John Titor and have that delusion in every life but it’s not probably real at all. It says it’s a hoax and was made up, but I get dreams about it in quantum dream space from past life / parallel universe memories. It feels like cloning or constant/endless reincarnation.

Random thought: I helped create Monster energy drinks but don’t know how or why. Maybe I emailed them a billion past lives ago in another universe. Same thing with “Rosetta Stoned” by Tool. I remember that but it could be fake memories or made up obviously.

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I get very paranoid and think everyone, including friends are out to get me.

For 5ish years I suffered burning pain on my skin with sun contact. Felt like I was being burned on the stake when in sunlight… Pain disappeared when I was finally diagnosed and put on antipsychotics… Still am a chronic night shifter because of this

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I have had the same experience with the sun in the past! I would feel like I would be burning whenever I would be in any type of sunlight. It was extremely uncomfortable! This was during when I had chronic Lyme disease though, so I assumed it to be one of my symptoms.

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I used to get picked up being crazy on the street too. But, I know what you mean, there are alot of crazy people on the street. It seems they single out the ones who happen to look most paranoid or seem to not belong the most. They really shouldnt do any of that imo. Mostly I found out police do arrest people or put them in psych ward when no crimes been committed.

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