How crazy can you get?

I always feel like they target me because I look like I have a home and insurance. Medicare pays for 21 days and they always let me out after 3 weeks. I have been to the hospital like 10 times and only twice did I get out in less than a week. I know it DOES sound paranoid, lol, but I swear when I am acting a fool doing ‘karate’ on the sidewalk, they pick me up because I don’t look homeless. There are lot’s of homeless people that act (and are) just as delusional and they aren’t bothered. It’s that almighty dollar. Plus I am female and I am easier to bully and shove around.

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You could be right. I wouldnt doubt it could happen that way. Similar stuff happenened to me regarding the homeless. Maybe its part of seeming out of place. Society is like that alot. As long as things are in thier place, everythings fine. When somethings out of place, they go nuts.

“How crazy can you get?”

Pretty damn crazy if my past history is any indication.

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I’m curious now. Give me an example :slight_smile: Crazier than using fake martial arts to take down “Planet Seattle” so I could move my people in there and we would live forever because I granted them eternal life?

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Well I already gave you an example above how I was boiling rain water to drink but I guess I can give you another.

I thought I was being harassed and poisoned by the “forces that be” and I thought that I had seen signs to that I needed to leave for Mecca so I left on foot traveling east towards the coast where I thought I would be able to find passage off the continent on my way to Mecca. I walked 3 states away to Ohio before I was picked up by police and placed in a psychiatric ward.

I thought that peoples minds could be poisoned and weakened by food and drink and that they could then be reprogrammed to act like their previous self but they could be “controlled” and “interupted” by other people(or angels and satan). I thereby did not trust relatives and others because I thought that they were no longer themselves.

There are just a couple examples of my delusions.

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Wow! I thought my walking several miles from home and getting lost was a big deal. I would get lost, confused and even black out and ‘wake up’ in the hospital.
Did you have money with you? Did you eat OK? Stay in Motels to sleep? I can’t believe you walked across 3 states…

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I occasionally got rides from people on the way that took me some of the distance, but I mostly walked. I did not have any money when I started but I was fortunate that people gave money along the way that I used to eat. No, I did not sleep in Motels. I slept wherever I could find a place to sleep. Often on the ground or on a bench. I remember once I slept inside a schoolyards gated electrical equipment area. I’m not sure what the area was exactly. Maybe they were transformers. I sometimes just slept sitting up in a chair. I did not sleep a whole lot.

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I bet adventures of the mentally ill would make for an interesting netflix.

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When I have had my ‘walking episodes’, I often walk through the night, completely lost,talking out loud to the scientists communicating with me via inserted thoughts. I’m always CONVINCED they are going to pick me up or meet me somewhere and they never do. I have bipolar with psychotic features as well as delusional disorder. Your journey sounds so HARD! Did they get you back home (did you have a home?) after they let you out of the hospital? I’m glad you’re OK.

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Yeah, my parents eventually picked me up from the hospital and brought me to their house. It took me over a month to get out of that hospital ward though. I would not have went with them if I had not been forced a Invega injection though that began to clear my head.

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I should note that the police and sherriffs were pretty helpful on my journey, I got rides from them to get me closer to me my goal 3 or 4 times. Until I finally got a police officer who committed me.

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I thought I got experimented on and other stuff by aliens several times and crap and maybe I did or maybe I didn’t. It feels real like time travel, cloning, reincarnation, inter-dimensional travel, etc. Like I know I believe in karma, sin, and reincarnation and crap but was really abducted by grey aliens mostly in my past lives and just keep coming back alive as a struggling schizophrenic. It sucks. Worst thought or belief I had was living in the Matrix with schizophrenia, feeling trapped, and reliving my life trapped since 2013 at the latest…

Like imagine not being born or living a full life and not knowing what it’s like to be not sick. Sometimes I just wake up at random times through an invisible wormhole or portal and then relive life again with my mind wiped, but have soul trauma and subconscious trauma and memories…

When I dream, I remember or was physically in a parallel universe and ■■■■ and experienced trauma. Like imagine living simulatenous existences in parallel universes in different realities/timelines all the time.

I once thought that the sun was giving me super powers and I would sit out in it zoned out for hours and tried to get Elon Musk’s contact info because I thought he would build me a rocket to get as close to the sun as possible and that would turn me into a god

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That’s amazing that police would ‘give you a ride’ toward your destination. It makes way more sense to me that they would commit you. That’s all the police ever do with me is take me to the hospital.

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Now that’s in line with my grand delusion. 2 years ago, the universe said to me, “there is no God” but since I was connected to Her more than anyone and had all the available gifts and super powers she said “You can wear the hat” so I have believed I am an Epic Savant aka ‘the closest thing to God we’ll ever have."
I even stood in 7-Eleven, looking at my reflection in the mirror and yelled "I am the REAL mother-fu**in’ G.O.D.!"
I’m sure plenty of religious people took offense to that.
My name is also (in part) “Christ”, so that has weighed in on my spiritual delusions many times.

About 9 years ago, I would go into my parent’s backyard at night and talk with aliens outloud, I thought I was communicating with them and was representing Earth as an ambassador. Really, I was just talking to myself. The thing is I really believed it. Maybe it doesn’t sound so crazy, at times I was weeping and sobbing. Made me sound insane to all the neighbors. Now I’m embarrassed to be seen by them.

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One of my many delusions was that I believed I was an alien here to bring peace to Earth and the aliens would communicate with my brain and I would talk "out loud’ to them.
So, do you hear them talking to you (auditory hallucination?) or have inserted thoughts? or how did they communicate with you? I have inserted thoughts all the time from people communicating with me.

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I would talk outloud, in my delusion they could hear my thoughts as well. The way the communication felt was less verbal and more like a feeling. I heard voices at some point but mostly it felt the communication was telepathic somehow. At the time I was skeptical about schizophrenia. I knew I had it but I felt it was some vestigial for of telepathic communication that cavemen had and humanity had mostly lost.

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I’ve had numerous really sh*tty therapists but the one good one I had said “Who am I to say you’re not in a brain study?” He never argued with me about it. Everyone else did and it did NOTHING to convince me that I am SZ. I am still on the fence about whether or not I am “crazy” or really special, lol. It has yet to be determined.

I don’t know. Maybe he meant part of an anonymous research study. I wouldn’t place much thought into that. I know delusions aren’t easy to shake though. It’s been over a decade and some still get me.

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