I have gotten really crazy with my episodes. I have been out in the street flailing around like an idiot thinking I am doing martial arts. About a year to year and a half ago, I left my house thinking I was going to go to a private, luxury hospital to finish the ‘brain study’ and get my savant gift. I am on SSDI and don’t have any money. I left my dad’s house (where I live) and took a taxi to a hotel and rented it for 5 days ($500). The entire time I was there, I was talking to voices in my head (inserted thoughts) like Don Lemon, Anderson Cooper, Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey and more! I believed (still do) that the brain scientists could see me with satellite equipment that can see through walls/ceilings. I was bat ■■■■ crazy and off my meds! I eventually left the hotel and started wandering around town talking to myself and believing everyone was in on it. I ended up getting picked up and taken to the hospital. I have been picked up, crazy on the street, at least 8 times. Stunning to me in light of all the other crazy people on the street that don’t get picked up and taken to the hospital. I guess they can tell I have a home or something. I have thought I was on another planet at least twice and that I was there to take over. It was SO REAL. If I don’t take my meds, I am absolutely nuts! I am only taking 1mg of Risperidone because I am trying to stay medicated and not get too fat or zombie-like at the same time.
What are some of the craziest things you have ever done while psychotic?
I’m too tired to tell too many of my crazy stories but for awhile I was boiling rainwater and using it as drinking water because I thought store bought beverages and tap water were poisoned.
I did that once too. I took all my meds and cut my left wrist because I thought I would die and then “merge with God” and come back to life. That was back in Feb 2016. It’s really scary to think about. Being told (by inserted thoughts) that I am God has been part of my ongoing psychosis too. I also thought I was Christ for a while too. Matter of fact, “Christ” is part of my name and my mother’s name is really Mary. I believe in the Big Bang but I believe thoughts are physical, in the form of particles and I think I am the only human being that is attached to all of them. Hence, making me God-like.
I never made a big scene because I really don’t like being the center of attention in large groups. But I was convinced I was being mind controlled and nothing could convince me otherwise…until I started taking meds.
I swallowed a whole Tylenol bottle, my parents brought me to the emergency where they gave me an antidote and washed my stomach, they said it damaged my liver. I thought I had Jesus genes and that I will be king of the world and I did miracles. I was communicating with God by praying 20+ times a day.
Wow! That’s quite a story. I was just overwhelmed with psychosis and went through, what felt like, a stage-set scenario where I was being ‘controlled’ into behaving the way I was behaving. That is the ‘craziest’ episode I have had.
Hey I am on 6mg Risperdal no positive symptoms but yeah I feel like a zombie. Honestly in my case I prefer being a zombie than having positive symptoms.
I am only taking 1mg. I like being crazy, so I don’t mind the positive symptoms. I am just worried about getting hurt or going to the hospital. I hate the hospital. I have also gotten lost outside on several occasions and gotten picked up and taken to the hospital. It sucks I always think I am going to be ‘saved’ and ‘paid’ and I end up broke and incarcerated.
I was going to write about a similar experience many years back. So sad that people would take advantage of us when we are vulnerable…the worst episode and worst few days I have had…it took me awhile to recover…thought everyone was gone in the entire town…that no one was there…because we came back and I didnt see anyone at all…looking at vans and thinking its the government watching for my abilities- I dont know it could have been what I smoked…someone gave me a roach laced with pcp because thats when it started. That, or the trazadone wasnt working because I started hearing myself on the radio etc. I have horrible auditory hallucinations. I will hear literally hear entire thoughts or memories repeated when I turn on the radio…weird huh…or any sound at all its not just like radio waves its noise my mind or brain confuses the noise/sound signals…might be related to the tinnitus.
I always think I am going to be ‘saved’ and ‘paid’ and I end up broke and incarcerated.