When I joined this website in August, I was at one of the lowest points of my ED and doing all sorts of destructive things.
Now 2 months later, I can see everything it was telling me was lies. If I restrict my food, I will have a restricted life.
I have gained weight by forcing myself to eat and I’m a healthy weight now. However, the temptation is always there to start listening to the woman in my head telling me she will help me to lose weight. Tell me woman, what will change if I lose weight? She has no answer for that but still keeps going on and on.
She’s no longer the prominent internal dialogue I have though. She’s weaker now which is good. I don’t know if I had an eating disorder or if she does, and she was just making me act on her behalf.
Anyway, how can I let go of this? Thinking about food and my body and my weight most of the time…? Or how can I make her stop caring about my body size/shape and what I eat?
Have you told your doctor about this? If not you should. They can set you up with professionals who can help.
She said the eating disorder services will only see me if my BMI is 17.5 or below… because there is a lack of funding and they can only see the most severe people.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that and it’s made me a bit angry. Is there a support group for your eating disorder you could join on the internet similar to this one?
Have you even been given a diagnosis/name for your eating disorder?
We talked a little bit about them in my class last week. They are possible to let go, but like all things, it gets harder the more you do it.
I don’t know if I am violating any rules here, but there is this woman named Kati Morton on the internet who is an eating disorders specialist and who also directs people to find treatments for other psychiatric disorders. Just type in Kati Morton.com. I think you’ll like her.
There’s a good recovery community on Instagram for eating disorders that I look at sometimes
Doctors and even psychiatrists have only called it an eating disorder when I told them. I think it’s because I drift in and out of it so never get to the point where I am in real danger. But I would like to stop drifting back to it…
I don’t know much about instagram as I don’t use it.
I googled “eating disorder forum” and this was the first thing that came up
I guess you’d fit into the “Working Toward Recovery” forum.