Years ago, I would say, “I don’t do anger.” I’m just not aware of the hostility I do have.
I take mine all out in road rage
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I am hostile towards others and towards myself when unmedicated. Luckily my meds work, I didn’t even need Clozapine, Risperdal 4mg makes me normal but just lazy as a side effect. I can live with lazyness its a much smaller problem.
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I don’t rage or get angry really. I used to get angry about my daughter being mistreated. But that’s about it.
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I used to have a lot of anger in me for sure. It’s gone now thankfully.
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From what I saw in patients at the hospital i did my clinical at, they tended to have a lot of hostility towards staff for not seeming to care or listen. It was sad to me.
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Sometimes I’m angry that all the normal people don’t see fit to make society more equal for the severely mentally ill. I have a plan that I can accomplish many of my goals but it angers me how hard it’s been.
Schizophrenics have 85% unemployment in the US. Severe mental illness in general 80%.
Working is one of the ways people are deemed contributors to society by average people.
Employers must be pretty ignorant. I’ve been passed up I don’t know how many times despite a high iq and above normal physical strength.
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How? We can already get disability money and cheap housing. I mean its no one’s fault that we have schizophrenia, I think its God’s. I got accepted into many jobs while on Abilify but I didn’t last more than 1-2 weeks so now my CV is unacceptable after 10+ failed jobs. I quit all my jobs by myself from stress and paranoia of ppl. I fear strangers, I stay in bed all day everyday, only get up to eat.
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I need to calm down when I’m driving. This area has the worst traffic but I can’t get mad at every idiot who comes roaring up on my tail just to be a dic*. That stuff can infuriate me but I got to let it go.
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By not being discriminated against when we look for work.
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Well I wasn’t. Sorry if you were discriminated.
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I used to get angry when people touched me - women. I think I was suppressing some lesbianism.
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I worked summers ages 13-15, , then age 16-20 I worked all years full time while in high school full time graduating a month before turning 18. My senior year ended in Jan 2003 and I turned 18 Feb 2003. I moved out the day I graduated, but never got to walk because Mcd’s wouldn’t give me a 6 month in advance request off of June 13-15 for my wedding the 13th, high school grad walk on the 14th, and family get together on the 14th as a few people for a wedding reception/graduation party.
I worked until bedrest was required for both pregnancies I worked. I took a 6 week maternity leave with first, second I went back after 10 days birth which included going out to SD when 2nd kid was 7 days old and grabbing younger sisters from SD to help watch kids, then taking sisters and both kids back to SD to drop sisters off for school and my grandparents took my 3 month old for a month and my mom and stepdad and sisters took oldest who was 20 months old for that month so we could convert me to 3rd shift at the hospital and go through and finalize bankruptcy. We got the kids after that month, then I got fired Dec 2005 when baby was 6 months old for Post partum psychosis and going into a psych ward the hospital I worked for owned and was part of. So after I was out we decided to go for a daughter, not sure when she came about because her conception date was a month after our last time together but we got her and then August 2006 we left everything that wasn’t for the kids or our clothes and put that in a little hitch pull uhaul trailer and moved out to SD. Daughter was born Dec 2006, 17 days early, but over 8 pounds, so her timings were way off, but either she was a giant preemie or she was more overdue and that’s part of my hemorrhage (add in the student doctor that shredded the placenta with his hand cause he had no idea what the hell he was doing, I was first birth and the OBGYN just stood across the room and watched, no help.)
We had a house bought in that 2004-2006 time, got hosed by a realtor that said we were approved for a 76k house, well I saw it in summer, so I didn’t test power, and since we knew nothing about buying a house their own inspector said it was ok. We moved in Nov 2004…no heat or power in the entire upstairs. We lived on extension cords and space heater. As long as my kid(s) would have power and heat in their room, us parents dealt. In the summer once that came around the kids bed and crib were put into living room where the only window AC was. Good thing, we were in gang territory.
Now this mortgages was given to us with me making 7.25 an hour as a mcd’s manager, and john making 12.50 an hour in the pharmacy IT office. No way should we have done been able to get a loan like that, oh, and 0 down. Remember 19 and 21 year old couple a under 1 year old, another on the way, and we were prime targets for those companies that most recognize as causing the 2008 housing bubble burst.
But we bought this house in now, 37k for it cause it’s old, but we qualified based only on his income on a job he was gonna have once we got here. That was based on 19 an hour, my 825 a month SSDI wasn’t counted towards income because it made the process easier. We did it right this time though, put 5k down cause I had Grama’s life insurance payout. But when we got out here we qualified for food stamps, medicaid, and the weatherization program. They completely put insulation into the whole house, which we had none being an 1882 house, they gave us a brand new water heater and installed, and went thru and did something and updated thermostat. We don’t have central air, but the program was a big helper. They also replaced 2 doors that weren’t energy saver so that was cool too. And got a brand new energy saver fridge from them.
Total grant was about 18,000 I do believe.
We get no help now as John’s job is 22 an hour plus benefits, and I do have Medicare with my SSDI. So this year with John’s raise no school lunch price reduction, but we’ve got it figured how the kids can pack a bigger lunch than the 4.85 the district charges for lunches. 3 kids in school, almost 15 bucks a day, nope, we’re adding 50 bucks a week to grocery budget and they’ll make their own.
We never got Section 8 early on, or any help except for WIC and Medicaid for the kids and prenatal, birth, and the 6 week check post partum. Second kid I had insurance thru hospital we both worked for, but I got hired at 5 months pregnant, they got to consider it preexisting condition, back in 2005 still legal, and Kiefer’s birth cost me 150,000 even though I had no interventions, no epidural, no transfusions, they just decided to keep saying he was deaf and the hospital I gave birth in most women did not go home with their kids cause they tested positive for meth or crack. I was kept 4 days being told Kiefer was failing the audio tests, kid had nothing wrong, they were doing blood tests hourly to see if their negative for drugs was really true. That bill is the final reason we did bankruptcy.
Sz wasn’t something they even knew I had, so they would’ve used that if they knew.
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I think most of my anger starts from a surprise.
I just stop…
talking in the middle of tedious conversations now. It throws the other person off balance for a couple seconds but then we both steady ourselves.
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There’s folk on the board that I see as having hostility issues. I think it goes with schizophrenia.
These ppl are either unmedicated, their meds aren’t working or they have a personality disorder and psychological issues.
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A lot of my anger is expressed when I have arguments with my husband or when a lot of difficulties happen in life. I’ve been known to scream and throw things then, and scared my husband. I regret it each time I lose my temper but I’m trying to work on it.
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i used to have anger issues from 12 to 25 but when i got sz all the anger issues just went
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I was getting angry and mostly- very irritable too… No med didnt change this, so i work on it now. But it consumes me… I was feeling very guilty about this too, which is not right 
…
I think the main reason of my anger is my very strong fear…
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Well @Anna1, I thank you personally because your response most fits the distress and confusion I feel over my anger.
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