Horrible situation trigger warning

My stepdaughter’s 14 year old, eight grade friend came over last night to spend the night. Well, she snuck out of our house to meet up with a 19 year old she met on the Internet, and ended up getting raped. He’s now in jail. The mother doesn’t want my stepdaughter to know what happened. She just said they can’t be friends anymore.

I feel so awful. Anything could have happened. She could have been kidnapped etc. We were sleeping when she left and we had no idea that she left. It’s so horrible.

You might have to tell your daughter what happened.

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Did your stepdaughter know of the plan for the friend to leave?

I know. But the mom was adamant that she doesn’t know. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place

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Not in advanced. But during the night she told my stepdaughter she was going to sneak out

Gross. I wish she’d have come to you about it at the time.

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That’s what we told her. Don’t let anyone leave like that. Come and get us if a friends wants to leave

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I doubt I would listen to the girls mom, I think she should know what went on and learn from the experience on what can happen on the internet or in real life

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I’m sure she didn’t expect to be taken by force. Nobody does.

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Holy hell. Are you conflating rape with a casual meetup for a soda? Are you high?

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@Daze , she’s an eighth grader who thought she was going to meet up and talk and flirt. It’s not her fault. Plus with his age, even if it were consensual it would still be considered rape. he deserves to be in jail. She’s just a kid in middle school!

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@ZmaGal, I’ll apologize on Daze’s behalf. She got to drinking and shitposting at the same time. Only logical way to explain such poor consideration and humanity. When ya think you’ve heard it all, you come to the forumz, where we got it right here for y’all. (eyeroll)

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Thanks @anon40540444

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Im sorry, this is an awful situation. Consideration should be given to the victims privacy. I would find a middle explanation to tell your step daughter. I know when I was assaulted I definitely didn’t want it plastered all over school, and it’s important to respect the victim and their family’s wishes. At the same time your step daughter will be confused and hurt.

I dont know what to do in this situation. Ultimately I would find a way to explain to her that something bad happened when her friend left, but without explicitly saying what happened. She’ll probably connect the dots, but saying you can’t be friends anymore without any explanation doesn’t seem right either.

Maybe other people who have experienced sexual assault can chime in with their view. I just know for me it was important to have the choice of who to tell and who knew. If her friend wants to talk to her about it she will. Sorry I don’t have more advice.

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That’s what I did. I told her something happened and the young man is now in jail. I told her the family doesn’t want anyone to know about it.

I’ve been assaulted myself @Later_Gator , so I get respecting a victim’s rights. You’re spot on with respecting their wishes.

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Shouldn’t he be in prison and not jail?

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It just happened one day ago. In the US you get a trial before prison

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I’m really sorry that happened it’s gotta be rough for everyone

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how awful all around…feel bad for all of you…sad.

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I don’t know what the law has to say about the safety of minor guests you bring to spend the night. My instincts tell me you did everything you could to keep her safe, so you are not to blame. But you never know if a shyster lawyer might get ahold of this, so I would be careful about what you say. They can turn anything against you.

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