I just had this horrible quick episode. Everything kinda blurred away like i couldn’t focus on visual stimuli and all i could hear in my head was someone sarcastically saying “good job Joe u ■■■■■■■ killed urself welcome to death good ■■■■■■■ job” and in the background people were sarcastically clapping and hooraying and yelling “wooh yea good job!” I have these from time to time which is obviously my positive symptoms acting up but this one was exceptionally brutal on my psyche. Now i feel completely depressed and ive been listening to goodbye cruel world by the floyd on repeat. Sometimes their short sometimes they last minutes or even hours. Y is this happening to me? What did i do to anger the universe so much to torment me like this? Am i really that bad of a person?
LISTEN TO DIFFERENT MUSIC.
Rabbit, I feel like we’re a lot alike. I suspect you have a tendency to ruminate, to internalize. I suspect you’re very susceptible to negative stimuli, and that you magnify it and multiply it.
Find happier things to do, to think about, to surround yourself with. Consider yourself a misery addict. Absolutely don’t indulge yourself by listening to songs like that, okay? You are taking very tentative, wobbly steps towards feeling better, so don’t hang on to things that will help you lose your balance.
Ok ill listen to some jazz or something
Pharoah Sanders it is
definitely sounds rough, i have episodes like that when i am off meds. best thing for it is to cuddle with someone, or listen to happy music.
My friend, i believe the universe gives us what we can handle. you are a champion. Be kind to yourself please
What did you do to deserve this? Nothing. I’ve asked myself that question too. I’ve tried to figure out what I did wrong to deserve sz, and I don’t think anyone deserves what we’ve got.