in middle school I was an outsider, but I had two best friends and a lot of people liked me and I them. In 8th grade a former friend bullied me. I felt shunned towards the end of 8th grade. In 9th grade after two months hanging with the popular guys I took a nosedive and starting isolating at lunch. Two guys in my Spanish class from that group asked me why I wasn’t with them at lunch. Which proved that certain people wanted me. But of my own free will I rejected everyone and 8 years later here I am in ruin because of those decisions. And by now my self hatred has made me a stranger to the lovable kid I once was. I can’t feel any good emotions, can’t really laugh without pain, can’t enjoy simple pleasures. No friends. Still no gf at 22.
On top of that I’m in Missouri and things are still strange to me here. I miss my small town but even when I went there in 2017 i was sick and felt nothing.
I drive Uber and have some positive interactions but i never see my passengers again. I truly am a nomad.
Random but here is some recent art of mine
