Here again, but am i really alone on my years of isolation?

So since the year of 2001 to 2007 I saw just one couple of friends. they were lovers so with my illness it wasn’t perfect this. I was the spectator of their love while I had nothing yeah. And since the year of 2007, when I started to be treated without success, I closed myself entirely for the world.
Isnt it scary to see somebody who spent almost 17 years with poor social life (the last ten years practically all the time at his home)? wow
I am afraid yes… That’s what the negative sz can do, yes… I feel alone.
somebody here whobroke his circle of isolation little by little no matter of the amount of the years where he was living like an animal?
gosh… its just dumb and unfair. I ruined my body too.

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Have you thought of ways to reach out? Meetup.com maybe?

what is meetup? I am so socially anxious that I tend to say to people that I am mentally ill straight away. Its my way of minimizing my paranoia to be judged. but I try to avoid this, so it will be tough still. I am quite unstable,really. Not ready to see people like this. I am sure they’ll abuse me sooner or later. Or I am not interesting cause I haven’t a personality anymore. really.

:worried: 15151515151515

I never tell people that I am mentally ill. So, they just take it for granted that I am a normie. I like that.

This is what my pdoc advised me to do - never readily disclose my diagnosis.

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That’s good advice. Because most people will use it against you.

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I can not say it too, but in my case, its already obvious unfortunately…

It isn’t obvious. That’s your paranoia talking.

It is gina. I cant sit on a table with people anymore. I should pace for example. How I am gonna to explain this?

Tell your pdoc about your pacing and get on some Cogentin or Inderal or something for your pacing. You shouldn’t have to go through that. Or get a change of meds or a lowering of meds. Akithesia is miserable.

whatever. I say just dumb things tonight. at least, you make me think

Indeed @SkinnyMe - When I was on the psych ward some non Sz/SzA patients would stigmatize those with Sz/SzA.

At one peer support group for those with MI - the facilitator shared her experience with depression and then made an inappropriate remark about Sz. sigh

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See what I mean? All the more reason to hide your diagnosis. It isn’t anybody else’s business anyway what your diagnosis is. I keep my diagnosis to myself.

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He said I have already this stereotypical behavior. For my doc, its not from the meds but from my isolation and my paranoia my pacing you know… He didn’t talk about Cogentin.

Your pdoc said your pacing is from your paranoia? Then you need more AP’s.

Good advice IMO - @SkinnyMe

What does IMO mean?

no, its actually me who thinks its from the paranoia and the anxiety. He said - isolation…

IMO - in my opinion @SkinnyMe