Help please. (Apologies) (Desperate)

Hello fellow schizophrenics this is Spokety. Apologies to @chrisjjack for saying some nasty things. I didn’t mean it. I just want to see if anyone feels like I do because I haven’t found anyone. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, then I was diagnosed with schizoaffective. I had an episode where one day I was really angry. Another day I was really excited and energetic. Another day I was really horny. Then another day I was really out of it. I acted very strange. I guess I was experiencing paranoia, disorganized speech and disorganized behavior. I’ve been on meds for 6 months and I hate them. It makes me feel like death. I’m not motivated to do anything, because nothing makes me feel any different then an emotionless robot. I’d rather be unconscious under anesthesia then feel like this. I’ve tried everything, therapy, group therapy, music, talking to family, playing sports, watching tv, etc. It’s a feeling that is a strong as cement, it’s unbreakable. This med is clearly not the right one for me. I just don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to suffer anymore. All the doctor can do is give me a new antipsychotic that has done nothing for me. What do I do? My parents and sister are suffering, I’m in hell. I feel like I have no options.

@spokety you really do not have to apologize, it was my fault for lack of sympathy and compassion. Keep your hope, things can change. Sometimes you have to deal with the dark before the morning light comes.


@chrisjjack dont worry, we all make mistakes, i am glad you are still posting

How about some practical activities like cooking, cleaning house, doing laundry? If you don’t have those skills you can just be a helper and learn. These are down to earth skills and I think they help more than music or tv which might not provoke anything more than dreaming.


When I was trying out meds, every one was different. Some made me more comfortable or uncomfortable than others.

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What meds do you have? I’ve tried Zyprexa, it made me sleepy all day but it was really good on delusions and hallucinations. After who weeks I changed to flupentixol. For the first time in my life I belive, it was quiet in my head. Now I’m on Abilify. I still have voices but they are not that bad. I manage. Maybe I have to learn to live with them. Abilify made me unzombiefied. I can feel again. Happiness, sadness, joy, anger. I feel alive again.


you have a ton of options. There are TONS of antipsychotics out there, find the one right for you. Or drink caffeine and take vitamin supplements, that will perk you up. I run on caffeine cuz of my meds.

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in my case just working on meds and their dosage saved me,change them until you find the right one, in best scenario you need one year to find the right one and a combination which works for you, there is a long way of trial and error in front of you so act like a scientist and find your right meds and the right combination.

@chordy Yes I’ve tried that, I’ve tried everything. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been in my situation, but its a feeling that is truly unbreakable. No matter what I do, I always feel exactly the same, and I mean *exaclty. * So I’m left with the only option of switching meds of course. But I just wish there was another option for people like me. I’d rather psychotic then be suffering like this, but I know that’s not a possibility, at least here. So I really don’t know what to do.
@pob Yah but for me there all exaclty the same. They don’t work at all for me. I feel like an emotionless robot, and it’s killing me.
@Comatose The first time I tried zyprexa it showed some improvement. But then I changed meds. When I went back to zyprexa it didn’t work. I want to feel so badly. I never had voices. What meds made you zombified?

The only reason we get drugged like zombies is because we are a real or unreal threat to someone.

@Spokety there is really good results with clozaril. I mean really good results.

Zyprexa and flupentixol. I did not notice my self to begin with. It was my co workers who said I was like a robot.

so you never felt like a robot?

I felt slow in my mind. Hard to think. Hard to understand instructions, hard to understand social codes. I was pretty much alone, sitting by myself in the corner because I couldn’t keep up in the discussions at work. It was like day and night when I got Abilify. I slowly became social again. Ppl at work noticed the differance and welcomed me back.

I still feel retarded sometimes. But not at all in the same way as before.

Have you tried abilify?

i just don’t feel anything. I don’t feel emotions. It’s also hard for me to understand things.

Yes it didn’t work for me.