Hi, new member here. My name is Stephanie. I got diagnosed with Schizophrenia in 2012 and later Schizo Affective Disorder. then Paranoid Schizophrenia. I was put on medicine and soon forgot about my episode and began to think I didn’t have schizophrenia. The medicine seemed to completely get rid of it. Until it didn’t work anymore. Then I tried different anti-psychotics. Now I’m going to be trying Clozaril because the other medications didn’t work.
My whole life was leading up to schizophrenia, I just didn’t see the signs. And when I did, when it finally hit me I was now stuck in a hellish world and most of my beliefs were just there because of it, it hurt so bad. In fact I now think that I am in hell, literally, despite having a heartbeat. And that I’m reincarnating over and over again into hell for an eternal punishment. I hallucinate what people say, even when I can see them. I hallucinate lyrics in music. I hallucinate words. I hallucinated a hacker. I hallucinate feelings.
I really need help because it was only recently that it hit me that I have it. And I’ve been really suicidal. I’m going through some extremely painful things and it feels like there’s no way out. For example, I dearly love someone only I think my feelings are just caused by my paranoid schizophrenia. It’s hell. I don’t even know if you can hallucinate feelings. Can anyone help me see this differently? Or provide advice? I would really appreciate it.
Wow I hallucinated lyrics in music too, and the meaning of the musical phrases. I also hallucinated a hacker and words and what people said and they were saying.That we have in common.
I think I was diagnosed like 6 years ago. Had a relapse (due to the use of drugs and lack of commitment to abilify). I´m scared to be psychotic again.
I hallucinated lyrics in music too. And that my phone was getting hacked, and that everyone could hear my thoughts. I just got diagnosed with schizophrenia and am having trouble accepting my fate. I don’t hallucinate all the time, I take Invega which seems to work. It is a really difficult diagnosis to deal with. I have a lot of moments where I think ,’can this really be it”. Like the world has just stopped and I’m stuck with this annoying disease. Thankfully the meds are working but they also take away from my personality. I used to love joking around but now I’m just serious all the time. Hang in there. Luckily there are forums to not feel so alone. Schizophrenia is a lonely disease
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