Help Needed With Relationships

I can imagine you feel vulnerable…just coming out of such a long relationship. Maybe you should take your time to “mourn” losing someone you were with for so long. You can become stronger again.

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Could find someone you trust and ask to help you with this problem? Someone in real life. A friend, a care worker? Any responsible adult that you trust.

My advice is to avoid this type of people in future. For your own personal safety you need to conjure up some strength to say no to this person. He used you, he betrayed you, he doesn’t respect you, and if he treats you this way, he could also become violent with you. Better be safe than sorry.

Sorry for being so direct but you are being used and “abused”.

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Thank you, yes, I have a psychologist and two psychiatrists, also he has a history of aggression with his family

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Hello, thanks to all of you who yesterday helped me to have enough strength to leave this boy and block him and never know anything about him. He did not even answer, he actually lied when he said he loved me. I am very grateful to this forum, to the people who help me to be stronger and more independent.

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Good for you! It think you showed strength. Hope you can take time to overcome things and feel good by yourself again.

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Hi, I finally didn’t have the strength to unlock the boy, we’ve been having more sex and he says he loves me and wants a relationship, now he pays more attention to me but we don’t do things like go out for coffee or go to dinner, he just comes to My house we talk and we have sex. He says he wants to go slowly in our relationship. I think I’m doing very badly.

Sorry this happened. You know him, i dont. But this doesnt sound good. Women often need several attemps to leave a bad or abusive relationship though. So try again.

Going slow in my book means no sex. Saying he wants to go slow and meaning he will use you for sex and have no commitment or relationship things, is not going slow. If you are okay with being used for sex though, that is your choice.

If you really want to see him, just dont have sex with him. It will show you his intentions quickly.

Also, what are you getting from this? Why do you do this? Do you feel lonely… ? Is there another way to deal with that?

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Yes, I feel alone, and he is so affectionate with me when we have sex, that sometimes I think he really loves me but that he does not want to make other plans with me is a sign that he does not want a relationship, but I feel very good when I’m with him, I’m very confused.

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You seem to have figured it yourself: “he does not want to make other plans with me is a sign that he does not want a relationship”

There’s nothing wrong in what you are doing. But if you keep seeing him you should prepare yourself that this will come to an end at some point. So falling in love with him could be dangerous if you are a emotional person.

Bvf is right. Going slow means waiting with sex, not the other way around. If you are still in doubt you should confront him and ask why you can’t do something together.

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Go slowly by having sex first? That’s the opposite, its going fast.

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you should not have allowed him to have sex with you before marriage. anyway now ask him if he ready to marry. if he says need time etc then not allow him to have sex unless marriage is over.

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Please. Dont fool yourself. Just accept: he wants sex. Just give it a try: no sex. Not for a long while, at least 3 months. EVERY good man who loves you will wait a few months. I prefer not before marriage, but it is your choice.

I truly believe there is not a single decent, loving guy who will say no when you say you want to wait a while with sex. Guys who pressure you into sex are by definition not okay and to be avoided.

See how he responds.

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Thank you, but this guy walks through the door of my house and kisses me and then we can’t stop, I also have a problem with my sexual impulse, I also want to have sex, but then I want to have a relationship.
My psychologist wants me to sign up for a self-esteem course where other boys are going to go and get to know them so I can forget about this bipolar boy. But I like the bipolar boy, I don’t know if I want to meet other boys.

Thanks, I already tell him to make other plans but he just says he wants to kiss me

aziz ,we’re both on abilify, i think we have sex drive issues

Okay, it is up to you.

You know he doesnt want a relationship. You know he only wants you for sex. But apparently you decide that is what you want too. Just know that you are the one who decides. It isnt him who does this, you do as well. You are not a victim, you choose do it to yourself. Just stop telling yourself stories of everlasting love when you are only having casual sex. :woman_shrugging:

If you want it to stop. Stop it. First learn to bear the bad feeling of being alone, you can. Then go out and find other people.

What do you want to hear from us, if you dont want it to stop??

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Thank you Bvf, but I am not able to give up sex with him, I am very lonely and he makes me feel special, I know that all of you here want the best for me, and that this relationship is insane, but I still hope that he He will change and have a stable relationship with me. I’m an idiot for thinking like that. But I’m very much in love.

Well what’s wrong with sex anyways…

nothing happens, sex with him is fine and makes me feel good, the problem is that I want a long-term relationship

Maybe you can talk to him, if he continues to only want sex, you’ll go see somebody else for your other relationship desire, and keep him for sex.

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