Hello, I need advice about this relationship. A few weeks ago we broke up with my boyfriend after 17 years together. We no longer loved each other and also I was unfaithful with a boy I met in the hospital. Now I live alone and this boy from the hospital who is bipolar He called me and told me that now there was no obstacle to our relationship.
He came to my house and we had sex, he told me that he loved me a lot, after that he no longer responds to my messages and I think he has used me again for sex.
Iām very in love but he only calls when heās interested, I donāt know how to leave this relationship behind
thanks for reading me.
Im sorry, but i think you need to (wo)man up. He is clearly an ā ā ā ā ā ā ā . But you were there too. You chose to cheat on your boyfriend, which isnt okay. You also let him use you again, knowing what he was like. That doesnt make it right what he did, but it is your body and your life and it is your responsibilty to stay away from him. Which i recommend.
Sure, that feels bad when you are in love. But you need to be strong and get through that, because this guy will make you feel even more bad. He seems manipulative and seems to purposefully create a strong attraction in you, which you need to actively resist. You can!
I might sound harsh, but i mean well: i always had stupid relationships until i understood it was me who did the chosing. That doesnt make the other person okayā¦But you actually have a choice and i suggest you use it to go no contact. And stick to that.
The loving feelings will subside with time!
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Thank you very much for your answer, yes, the most logical thing would be to lose all contact with him, since he makes me suffer and he is a manipulator and an interested person and a liar. I will have to be strong not to fall again
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I think it is important to have no contact at all, maybe block him and throw away his number or so. Be strong, you can do it.
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Thank you but at this moment I am unable to block, I feel trapped in this relationship. I do not know where to get the strength
It is your choice. As long as you see that it is harmful and you actually do have a choice. I think it is a form of self-harm, but i cant force you. Hope you find the strength some day.
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Yes, it is a self-injury, you are right, now I am weak because we have just been together and he told me that he loved me and that he wanted a relationship with me but then I got sick and he did not even want to ask me if I am okay
I may have contracted the coronavirus and he does not want to know anything
Sounds like he is fishing to get with you when sex is available, and when itās not he has no interest in you.
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Yes, itās what it seems, but I donāt understand why he tells me I love you and that he wants a relationship, heās going to drive me crazy
Well I guess thatās what guys that are only interested in sex and not in a relationship does. Itās a trick to keep you as a customer. Iām sorry if I sound crude, but that is the reality about it.
If he wanted something more and was really in love he would have a interest in keeping contact with you every day. Just think about it.
What you wrote earlier in this thread is true. Trust your intuition and gut feeling, not what you want the truth to be.
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You donāt sound rude, itās the truth, I want to talk to him every day and he avoids me
He is lying. From what you have told, he does not love you. He loves his own need for sex. This will not change.
Some men are really great at pushing all your buttons so you feel longing for them. They prey on that longing by telling you whatever it is you like to hear, to get what they want.
You know.
Now it is on you to have the self-respect to say: ā ā ā ā off. Yes, you will feel bad for a bit. That will pass. But you need to go through that bad feeling and bear it to prevent getting used and harmed and feel worse.
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Thank you, yes, thatās what I have to do, but then I think that he has a mental illness and depression and that maybe he needs time for himself.
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Donāt blame yourself. Just avoid people like him in the future. Even the supposedly āsensitiveā men I met, werenāt that sensitive. If you want someone who really cares about you, youāll probably know. Hopefully youāll like him.
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I know how strong the pull can be. You just have to decide you are stronger. You are.
Stop making up excuses for him. If someone loves you, he will show it in deeds. Not words. You wont feel insecurity like this, but peace. Manipulating someone who has a boyfriend into sex, then dropping them, then convincing them to have sex, then dropping them, then not even caring if they are ill, is never okay whatever mental illness you have. And whatever the reason, it is not going to do you well.
But: your choice.
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Thank you, yes, I wish I found a man who really loved me
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Thank you very much, you are absolutely right, he knows that I practically left my boyfriend for him, and now he treats me badly again, I will write to him and leave this harmful relationship, then I will block him
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I give up with sex. I want a guy to love me without sex.
I wish I had some good advice for you. But if you are looking for more than just sex he sounds bad news.
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Thank you butterfly, I really feel so alone since I left my boyfriend that I am in a very vulnerable position, sometimes I think that even if he loves me for sex it is fine, but then I read here those who try to help me and I think I deserve something best
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