Please get help if you are feeling overwhelmed @Chess24. I know how it feels to lose your faith and it is crushing.
Please don’t give up. I honestly believe that in time you will find your way again and be able to find your calling in this world. You will find yourself again. Just please don’t lose your faith.
I wish you only the best and am praying for you to get through this crisis.
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Sorry you are suffering.
You know what i do?.. im like telling myself ok im gonna do it right away …and then something is happening to my brain…i mentally already killed myself but didnt do anything physically…this techinique has helped me.
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Hold on! I’ve been in your shoes. You need better meds. Mood stabalizer. Don’t do it! Hold on tight and don’t do it. Call someone to talk to. The 1800 crisis number. If I can hold on so can you.
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There are times, I feel the same, that the only hope is death.but once in a while, things seem better
He refuses medication.
oh man, please let us know if you sought help or not…we are worried about you @Chess24
@chess24 has said he wants to die half a dozen times or so on this forum. He’ll be fine once he takes his anti-psychotic medication.
I am fine without medication thank you @anon35453467.
On medication my situation would be much worse than off medication.
You want to die. That’s about as bad as it gets.
Eta: you want to die regularly even. This is a common occurrence. This isn’t just a one time I’m having a bad day kind of thing. You need serious medical help.
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Saying you are fine without medication is like a patient saying they are well by giving themself a self assessment.
My dear @LED .
Yes I agree I have schizophrenia. That’s true.
Now, I do not want to die. I do have intrusive thoughts, and intrusive voices.
That’s not who I am though.
I think that my chances of recovery are much better if I stay off medication.
Well, I’m glad you’re no longer suicidal, but my statement still stands. You need more help than you’re currently getting.
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@anon35453467 please do not lecture me.
You do not want other people to force things on you, right?
I am not saying that I am fine, but I believe my chance of recovering and studying or landing a job are better off medication.
@chess24 Hey dude, it’s the psychiatric professionals who are forcing medication on you not me.
I voluntarily take my medication because it improves my functioning.
There is no chance for you to recover to do your studying or landing a job because you will relapse.
Well it looks like you are doing better now. Oh yes. Intrusive thoughts are nasty. You’ll make it.
Are you into supplements or herbs? Sometimes high dose fish oil helps with moods. I know your position on medication so I won’t go there. Best wishes.
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I don’t agree with you @anon35453467 .
I don’t think I will relapse.
The chances are there for me.
I am improving.
I believe that I stand a better chance of recovering off medication, and you need to respect my decision,
the way I respect your decision to take meds.
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Only the opinion of your psychiatrist can decide if you are able to improve without medication. Not your own self-assessment that you think you don’t need meds.
Look, you’ve been on this forum for quite a while and majority of those high functioning schizophrenics take their medication.
Your psychiatrist is not going to respect your decision not to take medication. I can tell you that. It’s going to be forced on you like before.
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Have you thought about being an accountant or actuarial assistant or something less complex, difficult, and stressful than math? I know you want to be a mathematician, but why? I know you love math, but is it also because your parents studied math and you feel like you must do the same?
My parents didn’t go to college. I tried studying math but was going to fail so I dropped out. I cannot go back unless my brain improves.
Do you feel like you must/will solve important problems or that you’re a genius or something?
I feel like I’m in the same boat as you Chess. I want to study math or CS or physics. I am not as good as you, but I take my medications. It prevents further cognitive decline, but dulls the mind and makes the body unhealthy. It’s good that you are healthy and fit and are getting adequate exercise.
My goal is to try Alpha Brain or Adderall or some ADHD med as a cognitive enhancer while on APs.
I don’t want to live a boring life in a group home, overweight, being a chronic smoker with an oxygen tank, living off 10 bucks a week, playing bingo with low functioning people. I want more for my life. I rather have a better life and live a shorter life than live a meager, disappointing life. I want to try new things, better things, experimental things. But I’m also tired of not living a long life and suffering (my past life/delusional part).
I’m religious too (I’m Christian). But I’m not super religious. I hope your religious studies are doing well.
I’m really hoping ITI-007 or Min-101 will work for me. Those should take 2-3 years to come out or be covered by insurance. I know, I am lucky.
I’m currently on Vraylar 6mg in USA and it works wonders. I don’t need to go back to the hospital. But I also have zero motivation currently. It’s too high of a dose. The downside of lowering the dose is I get some positive symptoms. But it’s worth lowering because I do nothing. I think if this lower dosage doesn’t work. I will try getting off medications. Latuda seems the best, but I had very bad experiences on it. It was like a water/sugar pill in my case. But I also think my circumstances are unique.
Without getting too much off topic, I will stop there. I hope you feel better Chess. Time heals all things.
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@anon35453467 I OPPOSE taking medication, no one will force me to take it.
I only took medication because I myself was manipulated by intrusive thoughts to take them.
I believe APs are terrible for me and cause me great harm.
Either I will recover or hold out for a cure.
In any case I will stay off APs and do well!
Please STOP writing to me on the topic of APs.
@chess24 I don’t know dude. Suit yourself.
But I bet you are going to get APs forced on you.
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