so i am sitting in a cafe , outside, away from everyone, no problem…
i am sitting there, i see my self in my mind holding my head and screaming and then i start rocking to and thro…but this is in my head right…my wife reassures me it is in my head…i am tired of this ■■■■.
if my wife had not been there i swear i would not have have known whether i did it in reality or not .
this is normal for me, but i am tired today, if i had a gun i would blow my f…head off.
i have survived a long time without meds…
take care
Hope you feel better soon. Do meds if you think it will help you. I do meds now that I am in school. If I wasn’t in school, I think I would try going off them.
You’re such a kind and wonderful person. You always have something good to say to people on the forum, and you are so supportive. I am very glad that you didn’t have a gun.
After two near death psychoses, torment, visions of hellish things, even being physically harmed twice by no one, i had to take them.
And if i don’t take them they always come back and i almost die again.
I shant return to psychosis if i can help it, pills being bad for me just doesn’t compare to the torture of what appears to be demonic entities, not saying they are or anything.
And as we all know the non-existant demonic entities can do some very bad things to a person.
Can’t believe it ended up like this, poison myself or be tortured by them, thats my choice now.
I started psych meds 23 years ago and they have never affected my health. Most of the population takes pills for something. Sorry your having such a bad day. I know I would of killed myself years ago without meds. The same people that think you should just fight off the voices. Are the same people who think over stressed voices are the same has genetic disorder voices. Two hugely different things.
I think like that sometimes, I say sometimes when I’m feeling bad " I wish I would die"…but I know that things in the future will change and I’ll be sorry.
It’s the same for meds, once you start taking them you would be addicted on the med and emotionally related to them, they don’t really eliminate all of the symptoms…you’re maybe feeling down today but hey …things would change in the future and you would say oh great I’m not on meds…good luck @darksith
Not to forget, people like to lower schizophrenia victims to a lessor level, thus you must take “YOUR” meds, meaning there are not meds given to you by a Doctor…no, these are “YOUR” meds, thus in turn the doctor and others are displaced from your problems.
But just to get back at them, when you take your meds you say things like " OH yes…this is FANTASTIC…WOW… I could have never have dreamed of something so extraordinary like this is. Holy shmmokes. I mean WOW indeed.".
That will pi-s them off. Or should I say put them back in their place.
I made a decision to stop meds after my first break in 1977. But back then the meds sucked big time and
I decided to suffer rather then be a zombie clone on Haldol. I was able to hide everything but became warped more in that process of denial. I can not believe I was able to graduate from school but I was just a very stubborn person after the pdocs told my parents I would never graduate. But when it affected my job I had to do something and was able to try Risperdal and Seroquel that were available ~1995.
But now there are so many good meds you really have to try them so you find the one that was invented to
fix that “little secret” problem.
There still is a culture among regular docs that too much pain medication can be bad and you should suffer a little.
So they make you wait a little while before you get your next pill.
Antipsychotics are not addictive and can relieve so much suffering it is a crime not to make sure people in society get what they need. It can help keep people out of jail or worse yet hurt someone then they don’t know what they are doing.