So tonight I’ve been battling demons! I’m doing rather well I think tonight let me tell you what’s been going on.
So first I’m lying there, just trying to go to sleep when BAM there’s a face there and the face is a typical demon face, no eyes just gaping pits. And I tell it it can’t do anything to me and I imagine fighting it and as SOON as I imagine this suddenly its arm is around my waist and I KNOW it is using sexual implications to INTIMIDATE me. It is trying to STOP me from fighting it by saying it will do these things to me. It is a WORTHLESS THREAT. And I’m yelling at it and its face breaks into a huge grin.
And it starts doing more things…and all of a sudden I just got calm and confident and said I knew it couldn’t do anything to me and all of it was just hallucinations and it disappeared just vanished! So then I’m praying to God and praying. And I am asking him to restore our bond so I can feel his love again and one of the demons starts kissing my neck!! And I felt myself crumpling in despair and fear but then stopped because I knew it was all in my head!!
So all this is going on and the demons are HURLING insults at me and sending me hallucinations of things they wanted to do to me, hurting my head, needles under fingernails, choking, rape, etc and I’m just laughing at them for how desperate they are. And they’re saying "We’ll F*** you we’ll F**** you and I’m just laughing like no you won’t!! Plague is arguing and saying all these things and I’m not letting it get to me and he is GRABBING for my energy and I’m just like no way.
So then I’m talking with God and Jesus and whatnot and I feel maybe I’m starting to get closer to them when BAM I feel like I’m ELECTROCUTED. This CRAZY jolt in my chest!! Like I’ve got an injection of caffeine! And now I’m up and my heart is racing.
CRAZY stuff!! It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep because those little urchins have been keeping me up all night every night and I’m sick of it and their games!! I won’t let the same tricks work on me again and again!! They’re furious right now though they’re seething!! Hahahahahhahahahaha. SEETHING. And they can’t do jack!! LOL
My heart really is pumping right now I couldn’t sleep now even if I wanted to I guess I’ll play with my rats. Those STUPID demons even if they don’t scare me a lick anymore they can still be a huge pain!!
Religion and schizophrenia aren’t oppossed. Known many a punter who is religeous. It’s dangerous too if your symptomatic. You need to be telling this stuff to your shrink. It’s not normal. Normal isn’t about demons etc and that should tell you something you need to know!
Keep some faith. But get some medication and let your doctor know what is going on. Loss of function is a sign that you’ve a brain disorder that needs some adjusting and some treatment.
I remember a story of a guy who had cancer and every night he imagined a planet meatball that he would shoot to bits like asteroids. Some how that brain tumor disappeared and he was fine.
If you can see their face and body parts can you imagine yourself with a laser or something zapping them away.
Oh I do all sorts of things like that but it doesn’t work the best defense is to literally just be like lol you can’t do anything to me though?? They get so MAD.
Not a good situation. Be prepared. It’s not hard to keep meds in stock…you need to look out for yourself and medications are probably a good solution for you at the moment. It’s not good to suffer…hook up with your doc sooner rather than later!
I should’ve payed closer attention, it was a 30 day supply and I didn’t think I’d been on geodon that long!!
Anyways I guess I’m not sleeping tonight. The demons are furious and will see to that. Even if they can’t scare me they’ll make damn sure to annoy me and keep me up. Sleep deprivation Classic torture technique. Won’t work on this old gal though.
I’m made of tougher stuff than sugar spice and everything nice wahahah
Anna
Just my two cents, but maybe the horror movies and gory stuff that you’ve been watching since kid are fueling your obsession with demons and rape-related hallucinations…
I would cut the pipe and stop watching that sort of stuff if I were you. I would watch “normal” movies, read mainstream books and see what happens… maybe in a year or two you’ll notice a huge difference. Or maybe not. But it’s worth a try because constantly fighting against yourself (sleep deprivation for instance) can’t be a long term solution.
Ah yes why didn’t I think of that earlier just stop watching horror movies and my psychosis will be cured, no more medication for me
I’m DRAWN to that stuff because bad things WANT me to watch it I’ve been conditioned since childhood. They even subliminally convinced my MOM to read me disturbing books or books with demons or even fallen angels sleeping with people!! So I would grow up normalizing this in my head and thinking demons were too powerful to even try fighting!! All lies!! I’m sick of the conditioning!!!
SO you acknowledge that it’s been ingrained in your spirit. Good. That’s the first step. If you can form a habit, you can break it too ! That’s a Romanian proverb.
I wish you luck.
They’re probably keeping me awake because they’re scared to fight me in dreams they’ve been keeping out of my dreams lately. Sometimes I don’t even dream at all when I sleep. They need to suck it up and face me straight on.
And the rape stuff is just another tool to scare the living bejeezus out of me but I was always told if someone picks on you it’s for your reaction no reaction it’s no fun to pick on you anymore. So I’ve just got to brush it off. They can’t actually DO any of that stuff to me, they ain’t human.
I laughed at them and said “What you got another evil human spirit on retainer??” I don’t think so. Even if they did manage to find another sicko like hell I’d invite it to interact with me.
Uhhh how do I summarize this? Demons are harassing me again. I am severely sleep deprived. Ran out of my AP Same old song and dance as always I’m afraid
Someone first performed an exorcism on my when I was 6. Then again when I was 12. Then again when I was 14. Goofy ■■■■■■■■ - I was mentally ill - not possessed. I believe in demons but possession is RARE. Even in the Catholic Church the subject is scrutinized for alternative reasons (mental illness being one of them) before they give approval for an exorcism. I can’t tell you how many times I was prayed over. I consider myself a devote Christian but some of the “Christians” out there are just plain ignorant when it comes to MI.
Classic torture technique. Won’t work on this old gal though.