I’d do anything to stop the demons

Anything. I am so so scared of them. Ever since that other night I posted about on here where they attacked me very strongly my anxiety has flared up again. At this point I am more afraid of failing God than of what the demons will physically do to me if I don’t fight them. I feel like God expects me to be this amazing warrior and thinks I am this super powerful champion and I want to be everything he wants me to be, but I don’t feel I am. And I feel like every time I fall to the demons I am disappointing him and delaying his plans. I want to be of use to him. But fighting them is so exhausting and difficult and frightening. I can’t stand even thinking about it. Even tonight I am so scared. They have been in my room almost every night. A lot of nights they just saying nothing at all they just stand there and their energy is very smug. It feels like a fox waiting for a rabbit to come out of its hole. I can’t stand it.

summary: demons have been hounding me for days via psychological warfare and it’s seriously getting to me, terrified they’ll hurt me and I’ll be a disappointment to God because I couldn’t fight them off

I’m honestly near convinced at this point that the actual devil has been chilling out in my room as of late. It is such an incredibly strong malevolent presence.

@Anna please set an appointment up with your pdoc to get your meds upped or changed…you sound really delusional…there isn’t the devil in your room or demons…you are ill right now I am sure of it…please seek help immediately…call a hot line @Moonbeam @ninjastar

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I have not been able to sleep properly lately. This could definitely be flaring up my symptoms. I just want to be able to sleep again. I’m seeing doctor next week about it.

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Hi Anna. I agree that you should get help from your doctor. God would never set you against demons. It’s his job to fight them, not yours. I used to think this way. Meds help me a lot.

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I think ECT can help you
I had 12 times ECT
15151515

That’s for severe depression. I’d never do ECT it has questionable success rates and can ruin your memory. Someone I know went through it didn’t help him at all and he lost a good chunk of his memory.

I just need sleep. I’m going to start vraylar soon but don’t want to start it at the same time I’m dealing with the new sleep med situation. Too many variables.

Thanks for everyone’s posts on here though it is helping me calm down. It can be hard to be logical when they’re at the foot of my bed smirking at me.

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@Anna. I’ve noticed that you post a fair amount in the Unusual Beliefs category about your delusions about demons, often in great detail. I agree with the other posters who are suggesting that you discuss this with your pdoc.

Also, just a reminder that posting about unusual beliefs should be in a recovery context. Topics such as demons can be triggering to other members.

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don’t get panic and scared
no one can hurt you
I promise
if you become scared of demons (which is your imagination) your condition would get worse. edit

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I’m sorry :disappointed: I don’t feel I can talk to anyone. I feel a great pressure to appear sane to my mental health workers because of where I am at in life right now. I badly need to get into nursing school and I was told it looked very good that I have never been hospitalized and only ever sought out help for myself willingly. I now live in a state where I can be forcibly hospitalized if my providers so choose and it would mess up everything for me if that were to happen so I never feel I can be fully honest with them about the extent of what I am experiencing. I need to leave this awful state.

@Anna I think you need to be candid about your symptoms with your medical team. They can’t provide you with an effective treatment plan if they don’t know what’s going on with you.

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When I take 50mg of Quetiapine my dreams are very vivid and weird, if I take a higher dose, I sleep more deeply and with less dreams.
You may be better if you increase your Quetiapine, you may not need to take the normal antipsychotic dose of 300-800mg, but maybe just 100-200mg, talk to your pdoc about it.

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Haha you know that 300-800mg is the dose range do you? I take 300mg.

No one can treat me effectively. The medications don’t work. Locking me up in a hospital won’t work. Nothing works.

I cry night after night but nothing can be done. No one can understand or will understand. Nothing I can say will help anyone to. When I tell other people it only brings trouble. It stresses people out because there is nothing they can do. I just want to be heard. I just don’t want to be going through this alone. I know nothing can help me stop it but it just helps to know I’m not alone.

One tiny slip up and my life and future could be ruined. I know this will pass but it will happen again and again and people will freak out again and again but I just want to be heard. I just want to not be alone anymore.

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I don’t give a ■■■■ what disorder I have. I don’t care if it is psychosis or a sleep disorder or a food intolerance or a psychic gift. I don’t need to know that anymore. And I know now nothing can stop what I go through though some things I do can help improve it a bit. I want to stop being labeled, and pushed onto medications, and told I should be doing this or that or going to a hospital or learning how to control my abilities or how to change my lifestyle. I just want to be heard. I just want someone to be there for me until it passes.

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@Anna. I do feel for what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly difficult and I’m very sorry that you’re having such a tough time.

We (the Mods) have to be consistent with how we enforce forum guidelines on the forum. Again, it’s fine to post about unusual beliefs in a recovery context, with a focus on overcoming delusions.

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Thank you I understand. I’m going to try to go to sleep now.

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