So I am starting up my attempts at dating , this is obviously not the optimal year for it but a woman liked me on match and I have been messaging her for 4 days and I think it is going pretty well. So far I have been just discussing interests and backgrounds and I feel like we have quite a few things in common and it just feels good so far.
I went through a divorce over 3 years ago, shortly after being diagnosed which wasn’t due to a majority of schizophrenia related happenings. I bring this up because 2 years ago I tried dating a girl I knew from a while back, didn’t even get the chance to bring up schizophrenia as she was talking to someone else at the same time and trying to move forward pretty quick.
I have had some off and on attempts at online dating but nothing really went past a day or so of talking, I just hadn’t been able to previously conversate well enough but I feel like my new antidepressant is really helping me talk and enjoy it more.
Plus I think I am in to this woman, she seems like my type and that is not an easy feat ha. I just told her I thought she was pretty and she said she thought I was handsome, I really hope things can move in a good direction.
I don’t plan on bringing up mental health issues until after I know things move forward more, I just don’t know the way to do so.
How have any of you who have had success in relationships handled things? Any suggestions?
I hate that I can’t be who I used to be preschizophrenia, but I would like to live as full of a life as possible and that includes finding someone I guess.
I’ve dated a lot in my twenties, gave up after thirties. I currently have a fwb, got a blowjob today haha. I dunno, I prefer to remain single with this disease.
I wasn’t diagnosed until after I met my husband. But I was diagnosed with ptsd and my husband says he knew I was off. But he loves me anyway.
I wouldn’t tell right away. I’d let her get to know you first and see that you’re not a crazed monster like the movies make sz’s out to be. Then when you’re comfortable you can let her know
you may be setting yourself up for disappointment…I told all my possible dates that I was mentally ill when they asked do I work…a lot of women turned me down…but I found someone from the get go that accepted me…
i tell them right off the bat life is going to be ruff and hard but with love and good hard work it well last. if they don’t like it hit the road. cause there isnt any other way.
I wish my symptoms hadn’t gotten in the way of one of the relationships I had in my 20’s. It could have been otherwise far more serious than it was though we lived in seperate places. We just started talking again but now it’s even worse she lives in Texas. Maybe it will go somewhere or just turn out to be a good friendship I don’t know. It’s a regret. We just spent some weekends together other than the time we spent on the farm we met each other on. She tagged me on facebook once as “in a relationship with” and it pissed me off for some reason. I hate that. I would have loved to have reciprocated. I also didn’t have her up to meet my parents which I regret.
I’m still messed up about what’s romantic. Apparently foot massages and backrubs are. So is cooking together and walking together in nature or looking at Xmas lights. There are other times when my wife is trying to be romantic and I don’t realize it until a day later when she is still annoyed with me.
It’s more a case of I don’t notice. She makes a romantic overture and I wander off and play Galaga instead. I keep telling her to just text me already.
Those are just idealized situations and personal preferences. If she wants to be romantic there are probably hints leading up to it, or it might be an obviously idealized situation like something you’ve probably seen in movies.
I’ve never tried to be romantic, personally. I don’t know why.
Why do you need to bring schizophrenia up? Does it matter so much its not like it is actually who you are if she likes your personality and you have common interests you have nothing to bring up maybe after the bedsheets and she’s in love with you and asks why you don’t work… if you bring up weird delusions and she starts asking herself whats wrong with you you can tell her.
I don’t know about that, my negatives make it hard for me to enjoy things but I guess I can explain that in time. I am worried about interactions with her family if that ever ends up happening, still probably a long ways out but nevertheless I don’t know how to convince a group of people who don’t know me that I am worth a damn.
The issue I hate near the top of the list is my weight, I hadn’t updated my profile in a while due to not being interested in anyone I was seeing and there has been a little weight gain since then. This has been due to meds but I don’t know that people can understand that unless they have seen it themselves, I’m not too bad it’s just a belly that comes out more than I would like.
The movies that I actively avoid watching? I require a certain amount of monsters, space battles, car chases, explosions, gun fire, voluptuous females, or machine gun fire in my viewing. Romance, comedy, and drama aren’t on my list.
