Schizophrenia.com

Dating with schizophrenia?

I’m only 16, so dating is hard enough. But I’m finding that I’m desperate to get into a relationship, but once it happens, I find a million things wrong and begin to doubt everything. I end up leaving only to immediately be desperate for someone again. How do you guys manage dating with this mental illness? Or similar ones?

How did you even find someone.

1 Like

I had to eventually learn to take time to myself to really figure out who I was. It was a lonely couple years, but I was able to really focus on healing some of my damaged mental processes. It sounds like paranoia is your main problem? Maybe you should take some time in therapy to focus specifically on rational thinking and strategies to tackle paranoid thoughts. Then, when you are ready, you can begin looking for a healthy, trusting relationship. Intense, dramatic relationships aren’t fair to you or the person you’re with.

In the meantime, maybe you can focus on developing your character and getting really cool hobbies. Since we are mentally ill, it makes people wary of us. So we need to be even more amazing than the neurotypicals if we want to be considered.

2 Likes

Thank you. I never considered that paranoia is my big problem with relationships, but I always start getting 'paranoid thoughts like “oh what if they’re too young” “what if I don’t like them” “am I actually in love” “am I actually committed to this person” and then it all becomes to mucha nd I leave. It’s like this overpowering sensation of doubt and it’s awful.

Thank you so much for responding. Art is my thing I have goin for me, along with riding horses. Ahh horses, my symptoms disappear when I’m around them. Hehe, I’ll be sure to tackle those NTs

those are all normal :slight_smile: Everyone has them, all their lives :slight_smile: Don’t worry too much about it.

What cj said it’s right, find your balance and then find a relationship.

In your age it’s easy to fall in love and be in a number of relationships or the opposite, but I think if you are open to the possibility it will come.

Just don’t allow yourself to be someones doormat just because you want one.

There’s a balance between wanting a relationship and the desperation of wanting a relationship.

When I was your age I would fall in love very easily, and had a lot of boyfriends, it was stupid thinking about it now. I don’t regret it, but it was stupid of me.

I would much rather have one and a good one than a bunch of bad ones :slight_smile:

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. My main advice is don’t disclose your diagnosis right away. That scared one guy off that I was interested in. He just stopped talking to me. It took me years to learn how to be secure in a relationship and choose a guy that was healthy for me. I come from an abusive background. I was 30 when I met J and he treats me really good. When we were first getting to know each other I was so nervous. I used to write down topics I could talk about with him before our date so I wouldn’t sound boring and quiet. Just take it slow. :sunny:

3 Likes

I say luck was on my side my advice be patient and open it will fall into place dont doubt yourself.

I would suggest taking time to yourself and getting your paranoia under control. after my late GF died it took me 5 years to find someone who could stick with me.

1 Like

Might wait until someone comes up to you talking about what you are thinking. Called thought broadcasting…if you need some improvement, work on losing weight or whatever is causing problems like may too clingy or talking about nutty stuff. (Mental care is not allowed to discuss these…Is called delusional. Remember, get angry with mental care, pay to sit in hospital for attitude adjustment and later end up unemployed and homeless.)

If you get a professional person or at least successfully doing college, does not call you a head case and treats most people with respect, this can be a good fix up for you. At least talk to these folks a little bit and see what you think. You will either get good suggestions who know a lot about the local problems/how business works or you get all weirdos.

Now, these folks hear the voices some of the time and WILL dump you if there is any stress so they are ‘conditional’. You NEED to be able to pay your own bills or stay close to parent’s approval so you have a place to go if things end, but lots of first marriages were made this way.

Lots of women a bit older started to hear the voices, they start to have weirdos say hello too much or worried about living alone and it was time to get married. The males go through similar problems and look for relationship/live-in too…But, is better to always keep your eyes open for good matches so you do not end up being pressured to take someone messed up.

Also, remember so of these horney old guys do not know they will get 15 years for showing you a good time at 16. Date your own age until 18, but then the older men are a real thrill party. (Works same way for male, just check out the cougars. I did not look at your profile to write for correct situation).

I don’t date. never have never will now. My girl know What is schizophrenia? this. Helps me helped me understands and even messes with me. It is a fckd up world and if you’re a dating schizophrenic it will be even more difficult. I say if she know your problem and knows you, you should have no problem. Have you ever heard of David Deangelo my brother told me about him and he has been in contact with other dating couches. I personally have never used one or looked at much of there stuff but i recommend it to people i see having dating problems.

1 Like