Being intentionally pushed down the stairs and raped is abuse, yes.
Iām pretty well convinced that the abuse i endured as a child is what made me lose the ability to laugh. I remember laughing as a young child, but then that stopped and all Iāve done since then when I find something funny is smile. I use expressions like ālolā and ālmao,ā etc, but I never actually laugh. Itās weird, because comedy is my favorite movie genre.
I was around 6 years old the first time I was raped by my older brother, and that seems to be about the same age that laughing stopped for me. Itās also when I went from being a normal, happy kid to being more dark and viewing myself as ugly.
What do you exactly mean?
Yes, obviously.
I mean I have no idea what you mean when you say āabusedā, and so voting would be pointless. Also, a lot of things today are called abuse that would never have been called abuse before. The line has shifted so much that the word is sometimes even used to describe trivial things (such as being teased in school or having a partner that doesnāt support you). This makes the question even more confusing.
I have not been beaten or raped or physically neglected. To some, that means I wasnāt abused, and so I donāt know what to vote. But if Iām to chunk my experiences growing up together with people who had a relationship with lots of arguing, then I wouldnāt want to vote.
These are all just examples. Iām not talking about anyone in this thread.
Some mental and emotional family issues.
Physically by an ex.
Took some years of therapy to come to terms with with it. Sometimes Iām still touchy.
Sheād have dreams I was cheating on her, id wake up to these fists just reigning down on me, screaming at me. I started doing a lot of stimulants so Iād only sleep during the day when she was at work.
I stayed and tried to work it out, thought my behavior was to blame for her bad dreams. Finally became to much when my buddy Shannon died, and she went off the rails. I dumped her packed my stuff and was out of Vegas in like three days.
She contacted me a few years after and told me she still wakes up crying having those dreams, wanted to talk to me. Etc etc, Petty things to be pitied, pretty and purple.
I blocked her instantly, deleted my Facebook and never looked back.
I have never been abused thankfully but my brother is doing something like abuse by claiming I influenced my mother but then lying about it in front of my mother. He created this whole narrative that he only wanted me to know that he would bring me to court, he enjoys that no one believes me. Thatās kind of abuse right? He plans to cause me terrible stress and knows I canāt tell anyone
Ok thanks 15555
Iām not talking about trivial things.
Iām talking about real abuse - sexual, emotional, physical abuse inflicted towards forum members.
Really? Because I got two likes and I donāt see how it could be interpreted as a response to any of the previous replies.
I think this is a little naive. You can be empathetic and caring without believing or accepting everything another person says. How did we get to the point where questioning someoneās claims is ādownplaying their feelingsā? It isnāt. Not to mention, sometimes a reality check can be even more helpful than āholding someone closeā (which by the way is the last thing I want when I tell someone about something like this).
When we turn a blind eye to people misusing a word, that word eventually loses its meaning. And being empathetic is good, but if itās not genuine, itās often not helpful either. Itās good that you care about others, but I donāt see why youāre reacting like this when all Iāve done is to ask for more clarity about what this word means. That shouldnāt be controversial.
Iāve been emotionally mentally and financially abused. Oh yea sexually coerced idk if that counts as abuse
I was sexually abused as a child.
It Takes Real Strength And Courage to Come Out And Admit You Were Abused, Guys And Gals.
Be Proud of Yourselves!.
Keeps it Cools (!!!)ā¦ . ā¦
It might be easy if you already have an impression of me as someone whoās likely to shame people publicly for trying to describe something awful that happened to them. Iām not, by the way.
No one is saying this. Literally nowhere have I said this. There is no conflict between what Iām saying and being caring and empathetic. I am not saying we should shame people for misusing a word, Iām saying we need to talk about what this word means and make that meaning clearer.
That is not what I meant was naive. Whatās naive is saying āif they feel abused, then they wereā. Thatās not how it works. āAbusedā describes and condemns the actions of another person, it does not describe a feeling or internal reaction to what someone else does. And itās important that we keep it that way. This isnāt a word like ātrollingā or āflamingā. It doesnāt matter if those words lose their original meaning, but this word is different. Itās important. It is a word that carries a strong moral judgment of someoneās reprehensible actions, and it is a word that justifies and explains the emotional and physical fallout of such extreme actions. Thatās why itās naive to say we shouldnāt question how this word is used. We need this word, and it is unfair to trivialize actual abuse and rob abused people of a way to communicate what happened to them by blindly accepting any and all ways of using this word.
I think you already did that when you said you think everyone interpreted me as trying to shame people and then proceeded straight to telling me how you donāt judge people or downplay their feelings. Thatās pretty confrontational.
Youāre the one who started being confrontational, and youāre the one whoās being insensitive. I never wanted to argue about peopleās experiences. I wanted help defining my own. I explicitly said that.
Thatās a tough one to solve. It should take a pretty long time to heal from that. I hope you heal very soon.
Iām Going to Argue With Myself For Once. Well, Maybe a Few Times Overall.
āadmitā is a Bad Word to Choose to Put Under That Form of Psychological Umbrella.
Not āadmitā,
But Speak Out Against.
To Speak Out Against The Perpetrators. With The Courage it Takes to Speak Out Publicly Against The Morally Corrupt Slaves.
Hopefully Thatās Clearer Guys And or Gals (!!!).
I understand what you are saying very well. I was raped in a fish house when I was ten by a fourteen year old friend of the family. After that my school work suffered and I was put in special education for many years. Some kids act out when they are abused, I just shut down. Someone could be talking to me and I would just be off somewhere else in my head. Daydreaming helped me cope.
My whole sense of personal space also changed. I like hugs but any other form of affection I canāt handle.
And the real kicker is that my brain blocked that event out until I was 33 or so. I was drinking one night and it all came back. Tried to deny it at first but when I remembered what that kid exposed me to prior to the sexual assault everything made sense.
You and I and many others here are survivors. Some days are better than others but I no longer apologize for being the person I am.
Thanks for sharing Leash.
I got bullied my freshman and sophomore year in high school. I at least know for sure i got major depression and social phobia because of the bullying. and Iām better with both now. So you can get better as well.
Iām not sure if bullying is like being abused, but I still believe you can get healed, Iāve seen somebody get healed on tv , but I canāt say who she is; because of site rules.
Iāve never been sexually abused though there was one single attempt by a family friend. It didnāt affect me at the time and I pretty much pushed it out of my mind for years until after I got sick. When I finally remembered it didnāt tramatize me, but it was mighty uncomfortable. All it did was make me think that the family friend was a pervert and predator and a snake in the grass. Doesnāt affect me at all today though I would not bring it up to anyone in real life.
Far worse was the verbal and physical abuse by so called friends around high school. It was pretty merciless and crazy and probably affects my adult life in negative ways that I donāt even know. For sure it shredded any self-esteem or confidence I had in high school and the effects probably carried on into adulthood.