Have u ever?

Have you ever done something that made you really anxious?
For instance I decided it would be a good idea to go on a coach 2 hour journey to Leeds
But during the journey start to feel ill
Driver dropped us right in the city centre at the rail station I was so scared and then I got paranoid symptoms it wasn’t nice later in the day it eased off though which was a relief

Was fairly resent had a total panic attack about just leaving the house once. Was only going the local shops to do some shopping. Since I was home and was in no rush just made myself comfortable on my bed until it passed and headed out straight after it passed.

Most of it is just that make yourself comfortable, Focus on breathing which helps reduce the thoughts. Helps to know the sort of places you feel the most relaxed at also. Mines always been water so head near it often when struggling with just about anything.

At the movie theater yesterday. I don’t know what it was but I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I just chewed ice and took an anxiety pill and tried to take my mind off the feeling. I think it might have been akathisia.

My social problems have been kinda bad lately due to the local stigma spewed forth by some of the church’s who try to recruit mental care users to ‘be saved’ by harassing disability recipients who are out in public.

I got an apartment in another town last week and found myself in middle of rental scam with almost un-rentable place due to psycho neighbor. Looks like previous tenant was run off too…Very affordable & nicely kept place but tenant just creeped me too badly to really even know how to fix the situation. I even had a new person talking to me in the voices threateningly so it became obvious I had stumbled across the wrong thing there at least somewhat. Also threatened more than normal while out in public in their town – what a place. Looked so nice driving through with really friendly people and not much thought broadcasting. My mistake. I probably get to deal with this lease for a year…I really recommend female not try to move on their own any longer unless you know someone locally as I’ve seen situations where females are killed in a week, screwed/fired/no unemployment, drug dealer’s girl or turned into prostitutes for trying to move alone. Some of the littler towns were frequently rejecting new people who moved there after a psychotic break, rejecting a person after they tortured you for a while and maybe even got you fired for answering ad placed in city job ads for job in country …

This past June I stupidly went to my kid sisters swim meet… I haven’t been able to sit through a swim meet in ages… the last time I saw her swim… she was 6. She just turned 19 this week… So June was her last meet ever with her league team.

it was a regional meet… the noise… the hustle and bustle… the chaos… the 100’s of people… the buzzers… the shouting… What a nightmare… my nerves were cheese grated by the time I got to see her swim. (200 butterfly.)

My friend had to drive me home half way through… my sis understood… but I was still so mad at myself for the whole thing.