As some of you might know, I was recently diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features. I had a rough two years leading up to the diagnosis, but I’ve been realizing lately how much things have improved in the last several months:
I’m not plagued by bizarre, delusional guilt anymore.
I don’t believe that I’m failing in my quest to resurrect my dead cat anymore.
I don’t believe my dead cat is angry at me.
I don’t think all the neighbors hate me because of my yard.
I don’t think I can predict the future.
I’m not hallucinating written words.
Most of these things fell away without me even noticing. My doctor told me she thought I had stabilized, and I wasn’t sure I believed her. I still have issues to work through - flashing lights and anxiety and lack of focus - but when I stop to realize just how many of my symptoms have faded, I feel so hopeful about the future.
It’s been a long time since I felt that way. Happy New Year, everyone, and thanks to all of you for helping me through this. I hope that someday I’ll be able to fully return all the support you’ve given me.
I hope your coming year is excellent.
