Have side effects taught you anything?

Hello everyone, please share what side effects of the medicine have taught you. I was recently on 1200mg Seroquel but realized that I could function normally on 400mg. What was it like? Like stupidity leaving my body. I actually experience I’d say more normal emotions. I wouldn’t want to say realer, because then that could mean other things. I had set a long term goal I was never getting closer to because of the weight gain effects, I’d often give up and try again nasty cycle. Anyway, I broke through. I never been this persistent, focused, and ready to realize a new fit body for myself. I wish you all success, and untanglement from the confusion of AP medication.

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My pdoc raised my prolixin. I take it at night, but it still makes me kind of sleepy and I’ve got this irritable edge on me that I’m trying not to expose to anyone. I see my doctor in a couple of weeks. It is helping with my paranoia. I guess I could contact him and let him know what’s going on.

What amount is least toxic to my psychological well-being. I had to listen really hard - sometimes more than once or twice. My Dr doesn’t like the micro-titrated doses I asked for, but he prescribes it for me.

In my experience, I don’t like too much suppression. But if I can handle less suppression the meds do normally then that is what dose I need to be on. It’s variable, highly. Sometimes my thought can be clear on smaller dose. But when I have stuff racing, is when I take the extra suppression of chemicals.

I might stagger a dose like do 800 mg one night then 400 mg next two nights, and I can feel the waning from the 800 mg dose. I can feel more like myself with less delusions, psychosis. It’s kind of like practice for handling myself on lower dose. Once the med suppression is alleviated the real self emerges and frankly i was alot more normal than I thought I’d be.

When I was on high doses of Seroquel… I don’t know if it was purely side effect and negative symptom, but I was numb and slow. I was stuck in wax and everyone else could move. I gave up having a desire to move and could only watch, yet not really understand what was happening around me. I could hear… but not really react.

I had a head circus amping up and nothing I did could stop it. My body was frozen and my brain was on fire.

I tried to explain it like… watching life from the bottom of the deep end of a pool. I want to be up where the air is, where the life is, I can see it, but I can’t get up there… 16 feet of numbing cold water keeps me anchored down and stands in the way of surfacing. I can’t reach it, I can feel anything enough to reach…

But when the Seroquel got cut way back and the latuda added, it was like being pulled up from the bottom of the deep end.

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I’m at lower weight now on seroquel than when I had my phase with latuda. You have to release the anchor, some people spend awful amount of time unnecessarily down there.

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My meds make me sedated and less motivated. Coffee, energy drinks and preworkout supplements are what keep me going. I just have to live with it. I’ve had my morning big mug of coffee, and Im just sitting here moving my eyes and fingers on my laptop. I dont plan on doing much else today. Its the middle of the summer. I was batshit crazy and full of energy before I got on meds, I used to hardly sleep and now I sleep a lot, like nine or ten hours. I just accept that being on a major tranquilizer and a minor tranquilizer and a sedating blood pressure medication to keep me from getting my heart rate up, panicking or getting enraged (both of which were daily occurrences before meds) is the right life for me. I still lift weights, I still hangout into the AM with friends on the weekends, I just drink caffeine to match my activity level for the day.

I have learned that being sedated just enough to feel physically resting but not mentally impaired is what I need and what I am experiencing. I remember the “paranoid schizophrenic buzz” I felt before I got on medications. I woke up naturally wide awake and psychotic. I would drink caffeine after school, not before school, and I drank it to make me more insane and get angry and then go lift weights, practice Krav Maga on my bags or run. I would hydrate and then drink liquor to go to sleep. Not healthy. Psychotic. Dangerous. Unstable. Legally insane.

Now I am a different person, and I like it. I feel like I am 31 but I am only 21 years old.

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