My Schizoaffective/Bipolar has gotten worse over the years.
There was a time when I worked as a Special Ed Aide and Substitute Teacher and I was married, owned my own home, had some friends, etc…
Today at 52years old, I am on Disability and can barely get off of the couch.
I am Divorced, have no friends and am Socially Withdrawn.
My mood swings and positive symptoms seem to have worsened over time as well.
Positive Symptoms are suppose to mellow out as one ages, but mine seem to have worsened.
My Negative Symptoms and Cognition have deteriorated basically.
There have been good years and bad years. So far I’ve been doing alright. I haven’t done anything productive with my life in a few years so sometimes I feel worthless. Also I’ve progressively been getting dumber with age and the meds. Last year wasn’t too bad. I hope this will be a better year. I think overall I’ve gotten worse but that is in comparison with life before the illness. It hasn’t really gotten better since.
Yeah, or more like the meds quit working. I was stable and productive on Geodon for quite some time- although the other meds I was on and other substances caused some serious shyt.
I am now on day two of haldol 1.5mg, I am depressed and flat, angry at life, angry at why I had to go from shredded, ace student, swinger, popular, to this- doctoral student “dropout” when in reality I withdrew because I wasn’t getting what I was about to pay for, overall invalid, failure, reject, hermit, loner, creep.
It just shows that no one actually loves anyone- if people loved, they wouldn’t let a period of changing medications just equal me being dead.
I am angry, and I am preparing for the LSAT to become a mental health lawyer. I won’t just let people get ■■■■■■ with like this, not when I am likely to overcome it and then need something to do with my life. My research background is in the clinical psychology of social justice. I am no joke at what I do- I am just out of work and the patient instead of the shrink right now.
I don’t think it has gotten worse, not when I really think about all of the variables. I spend a lot of time just thinking about things like this. I reduce it to the medications, and also how people treat us.
I get better and better as time goes on. Over the years I have learned what makes me feel better, and what makes me feel worse. I have gotten rid of most of the negatives, and I keep the positives. Of course I have been ill for 18 years so it has been a long ride, and I am nowhere near where I want to be.
After getting diagnosed, I was stable on abilify, went off meds, got hospitalised, went on other meds, got hospitalised, now at least I’m stable on abilify again and have been for 3 years.
Not a straight line by any means. But I too have taken a tumble down the social ladder. I was diagnosed late in life.
You’ve recently been in hospital, and it can take a while to recover from that, so don’t beat yourself up.
I don’t think this illness goes in a straight line to be honest.
I was really suffering in the past for years. idk, maybe the giving up made the things worse. tbh, I stay on the same level since years. but ive decided to struggle better since I am on Zyprexa, 11months ago… but my illness is different. no sharp psychotic breaks, just a lot of depression and negative symptoms…in my worse, I become hysterical but never aggressed anybody in reality, only verbal aggressivity :(…
Thanks @everhopeful
You are right I was recently Hospitalized twice.
It’s going to take some time to feel better.
At least I am back on my meds.
Not going to mess with them any longer.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1984, and my condition is much better now. However, I don’t credit my improvement to time, per se, but environmental factors.My economic situation has improved, so my basic needs are being met (they were not being met in 1984). I guess you can say that I believe in Maslow’s theory of self-actualization.
Another very important factor for me is being in a close, personal relationship. Many people have cited Professor Elyn Saks as a success story. However, if you watch her TED talk she credits her husband as the most important factor in her recovery.
