Does practice make perfect or is it just pointless and painful to try .
Not really. It would of course have helped if (a) I had been given a clear definition of the term. Sites about it are very vague (b) I had been given social skills training. Unfortunately such training is not high on the agenda in the UK for people with severe mental illness.
I have no social skills. never go anywhere
Yes, practice does make perfect. Iām still awkward after the first few minutes, but I think most people would say that Iām friendly and socially adept. I practice eye contact as much as possible, and I smile. I say the standard acceptable phrases. I make an effort to listen to what theyāre saying and have an appropriate response.
When I was young I was paralyzed socially. I used humor a lot though to pass as acceptable. I still use humor when I can.
nope
practicing does nothing when it comes to my social skills
so farā¦ but im gonna be trying still
trying and trying
It depends on the situation. If Iām at a party I have a really hard time socializing or when the demon screams at me. I have an easier time in small groups. Iāve recently made some new friends so I must not be too bad. Eye contact is hard. And Iām told I have a flat affect. But my friends still accept me.
nah, just some embarrassing moments and confusing with translation and also because of MI - interpreting/misinterpreting stuff
I am sometimes awkward in real life but YEAH practice makes perfect in almost anything!
EDIT: even normal people are you know? we are too much making the MI important. Everybody has doubts, fluctuation in self esteem etc, confidence. Best thing to do , once someone told me was āif you ever have any doubts about yourself or a situation, alway choose the one that makes you smileā. So whatever, I try to take things lightly in social situations.
Practice! It helps a lot if you get feedback, though. I was in an outpatient day-long dual diagnosis services thing and the social workers there were very careful to get us to interact in a socially acceptable manner. They basically oversaw all the groups and encouraged us to talk and interact. It was very helpful.
I also tried to practice facial expressions in the mirror during my 20ās, when I was very sick. Iād watch movies and mimic the expressions. It also worked.
People canāt tell that I am asocial until they find out some things like I only have 2 or 3 close friends, I only have like 80 facebook friends, etc. Other than those clues, I try to be fake smiley. Fake smiley is fake, yes, but it works for getting people to open up to you.
I have no issue with fake smiley.
I say "Experience makes perfect ". Practice is for smart people who has some desire to get.
Iām better one on one than I am in groups.
If Iām talking on the telephone I get the personās first name and use it often. Pay attention to the intonation of your voice, and listen. If Iām meeting a few people for the first time I use mnemonics (memorization techniques). I meet Ronald, now heās Ronald McDonald; I meet Edward, now heās Edward Scissorhands; I meet Jimmy, now heās Jimmy Dean Sausage.
Make some eye contact, analyze body language (you can learn body language on the Internet), use each personās first name, and listen (canāt emphasize how important listening is).
Now youāre ready to socialize!
Iām trying, maybe too hard, but not having much success. I think I misread other peopleās body language. My psychiatric nurse is teaching me what not to do and what TO do. Itās a little late in life. Iām already 75. I am constantly making up all kinds of reasons to avoid people and to forsake the relationships I have begun.
Same here. I misinterpret other peopleās body language alot outside. Sometimes I become socially awkward and anxious when I deal with places with a bunch of people or a crowd. It can be annoying sometimes but I force myself to talk to people if I need to. The good side is that, I donāt really care about what people think or say I just do whatever things is necessary. There are too many foolish people on this planet anyway.
From isolation to being dragged around the world as a helper in different countries, the language barier is a good excuse to learn āHow to be niceā without a lot of words.
It was an excellent lesson for me when Iām non verbal, to still be able to communicate with others, and lose that awkwardnes learned in isolation.
@martinhersey1, itās never to late to learn things that can improve the quality of your live.
I am pleased n proud that I managed to get some words out today.
It may not of been much but hey something is something n something is not entirely muteā¦
Satanists may think Iām weak for turning the other cheek but Iām not a aggressive person and am not for revenge etc.
Itās just not meā¦
Why should I be something n someone I am notā¦
I want to be me.
Even if that annoys some or lots of people.
My socialising is not better than before I donāt think but I am proud anyway.
I do my best but I know myself and therefor avoid certain things.
I told my boyfriend before we met about my social difficulties.
When his friends come around I sometimes just sit to myself.
Not to be rude ā¦but I have my difficulties.
I used to be alone always n go to bed seven pm but things have changed since I moved in with my bf.
Blessed he be.
If someone takes offence to me calling them n##### then I will not call them that.
I think it can be funny n have its charm n Iām not racist but I will stop saying it if people are going to be so uptight about it n maybe depends on how it is said n to who it is said.
I am not abusive or violent or bad mannered .
I have a hard time making social connections.
Small talk and Direct Eye contact is difficult for me.
I do say Hi to Cashiers and Store clerks, but have a difficult time with deeper conversations.
But I will keep on trying.
Ive improved a ton on this forum. And over the past year ive improved a little with family. But as far as anyone else goes, I am not social.
I took in a ballet, went to a wine festival, played spades with a group of old people at the old folks home at a short rally where we taught young people how to play basketball. But Iāve never been social all my life.
When I wasnāt on memantine, there were days that I would push myself to talk with people. It improved my social skills a lot. Now Iām on memantine and I still have issues with social skills, despite not having more fear of being in social environments. In November, December and January, what improved my social skills a lot was just going out to bars and clubs and start approaching women. I still have many sticking points, but I had many great conversations with different women and there were times where I had awful conversations (I got too much stuck in my head).
A good exercise to better your social skills may be talking to a camera for 30 minutes. Watch the video and take notes about your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice and eye contact. I have to do it.