Has anybody improved their social skills?

Does practice make perfect or is it just pointless and painful to try .

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Not really. It would of course have helped if (a) I had been given a clear definition of the term. Sites about it are very vague (b) I had been given social skills training. Unfortunately such training is not high on the agenda in the UK for people with severe mental illness.

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I have no social skills. never go anywhere

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Yes, practice does make perfect. Iā€™m still awkward after the first few minutes, but I think most people would say that Iā€™m friendly and socially adept. I practice eye contact as much as possible, and I smile. I say the standard acceptable phrases. I make an effort to listen to what theyā€™re saying and have an appropriate response.
When I was young I was paralyzed socially. I used humor a lot though to pass as acceptable. I still use humor when I can.

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nope
practicing does nothing when it comes to my social skills
so farā€¦ but im gonna be trying still
trying and trying

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It depends on the situation. If Iā€™m at a party I have a really hard time socializing or when the demon screams at me. I have an easier time in small groups. Iā€™ve recently made some new friends so I must not be too bad. Eye contact is hard. And Iā€™m told I have a flat affect. But my friends still accept me. :sunny:

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nah, just some embarrassing moments and confusing with translation and also because of MI - interpreting/misinterpreting stuff :slight_smile:

I am sometimes awkward in real life but YEAH practice makes perfect in almost anything!

EDIT: even normal people are you know? we are too much making the MI important. Everybody has doubts, fluctuation in self esteem etc, confidence. Best thing to do , once someone told me was ā€˜if you ever have any doubts about yourself or a situation, alway choose the one that makes you smileā€™. So whatever, I try to take things lightly in social situations. :slight_smile:

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Practice! It helps a lot if you get feedback, though. I was in an outpatient day-long dual diagnosis services thing and the social workers there were very careful to get us to interact in a socially acceptable manner. They basically oversaw all the groups and encouraged us to talk and interact. It was very helpful.

I also tried to practice facial expressions in the mirror during my 20ā€™s, when I was very sick. Iā€™d watch movies and mimic the expressions. It also worked.

People canā€™t tell that I am asocial until they find out some things like I only have 2 or 3 close friends, I only have like 80 facebook friends, etc. Other than those clues, I try to be fake smiley. Fake smiley is fake, yes, but it works for getting people to open up to you.

I have no issue with fake smiley.

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I say "Experience makes perfect ". Practice is for smart people who has some desire to get.

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Iā€™m better one on one than I am in groups.

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If Iā€™m talking on the telephone I get the personā€™s first name and use it often. Pay attention to the intonation of your voice, and listen. If Iā€™m meeting a few people for the first time I use mnemonics (memorization techniques). I meet Ronald, now heā€™s Ronald McDonald; I meet Edward, now heā€™s Edward Scissorhands; I meet Jimmy, now heā€™s Jimmy Dean Sausage.

Make some eye contact, analyze body language (you can learn body language on the Internet), use each personā€™s first name, and listen (canā€™t emphasize how important listening is).

Now youā€™re ready to socialize!

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Iā€™m trying, maybe too hard, but not having much success. I think I misread other peopleā€™s body language. My psychiatric nurse is teaching me what not to do and what TO do. Itā€™s a little late in life. Iā€™m already 75. I am constantly making up all kinds of reasons to avoid people and to forsake the relationships I have begun.

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Same here. I misinterpret other peopleā€™s body language alot outside. Sometimes I become socially awkward and anxious when I deal with places with a bunch of people or a crowd. It can be annoying sometimes but I force myself to talk to people if I need to. The good side is that, I donā€™t really care about what people think or say I just do whatever things is necessary. There are too many foolish people on this planet anyway.

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From isolation to being dragged around the world as a helper in different countries, the language barier is a good excuse to learn ā€œHow to be niceā€ without a lot of words.

It was an excellent lesson for me when Iā€™m non verbal, to still be able to communicate with others, and lose that awkwardnes learned in isolation.

@martinhersey1, itā€™s never to late to learn things that can improve the quality of your live. :smiley_cat:

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I am pleased n proud that I managed to get some words out today.
It may not of been much but hey something is something n something is not entirely muteā€¦

Satanists may think Iā€™m weak for turning the other cheek but Iā€™m not a aggressive person and am not for revenge etc.
Itā€™s just not meā€¦
Why should I be something n someone I am notā€¦

I want to be me.
Even if that annoys some or lots of people.

My socialising is not better than before I donā€™t think but I am proud anyway.
I do my best but I know myself and therefor avoid certain things.

I told my boyfriend before we met about my social difficulties.

When his friends come around I sometimes just sit to myself.
Not to be rude ā€¦but I have my difficulties.

I used to be alone always n go to bed seven pm but things have changed since I moved in with my bf.

Blessed he be.:two_hearts:

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If someone takes offence to me calling them n##### then I will not call them that.
I think it can be funny n have its charm n Iā€™m not racist but I will stop saying it if people are going to be so uptight about it n maybe depends on how it is said n to who it is said.

I am not abusive or violent or bad mannered .

I have a hard time making social connections.
Small talk and Direct Eye contact is difficult for me.
I do say Hi to Cashiers and Store clerks, but have a difficult time with deeper conversations.
But I will keep on trying.

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Ive improved a ton on this forum. And over the past year ive improved a little with family. But as far as anyone else goes, I am not social.

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I took in a ballet, went to a wine festival, played spades with a group of old people at the old folks home at a short rally where we taught young people how to play basketball. But Iā€™ve never been social all my life.

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When I wasnā€™t on memantine, there were days that I would push myself to talk with people. It improved my social skills a lot. Now Iā€™m on memantine and I still have issues with social skills, despite not having more fear of being in social environments. In November, December and January, what improved my social skills a lot was just going out to bars and clubs and start approaching women. I still have many sticking points, but I had many great conversations with different women and there were times where I had awful conversations (I got too much stuck in my head).

A good exercise to better your social skills may be talking to a camera for 30 minutes. Watch the video and take notes about your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice and eye contact. I have to do it.

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