How can i improve my social skills? I just went to a party. I didnt know what to say, im quiet and awkward and i feel everyone hated me there. I want social skills! How?
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Theyâre pretty good but my private kills are better.
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I get quiet and feel awkward too sometimes. Sometimes I get really loud to overcompensate and say too much. Either way I come home feeling unliked. I guess it takes practice and confidence and I find it helpful to go with someone I feel comfortable with like a relative, best friend or spouse. But if you must go alone it takes practice getting comfortable I think.
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A good trick is to ask people questions about themselves. Most people love talking about themselves and get excited when someone shows an interest in them. For example
Person A: âdo you have any pets?â
Person B: âoh yes, I have a dog.â
Person A: âNeat. What kind of dog is he?â
The topic of pets is generally pretty safe. Other good ones are favorite television shows/movies/books, hobbies, places they have/would like to travel, etc.
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The best advice I ever got was this: âYou know that uncomfortable and nervous feeling you have, and how youâre so worried about embarrassing yourself? Everyone feels that way. Theyâre spending like 80% of every conversation just worrying about saying something dumb. If you embarrass yourself but then just laugh it off, youâll make everyone feel more at ease, because if you survived, they can too.â
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I feel like something is broken since I have had this disease, it is not something you can overcome.
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I was never able to socialize the same way again after I got sick with this disease.
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The biggest factor is your personal shame / anxiety level. If you can find places that allow you to socialize without fear of lasting repercussions, you can gradually build your social skills and confidence to the point of being pleasant for both parties, at least some of the time. Regardless of what your social conditioning is.
No one will make friends with everyone all the time, that is impossible, so donât worry about rejection.
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Just try your best to go with the flow. Thatâs what Iâve been doing.
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I am sociable enough that I got prescribed Propenol for dealing with other people.
I say âhow are you?â to pretty much everyone that I am forced to deal with rather than saying hello and that gets a conversation off to a better start than avoiding eye contact and saying nothing.
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smile say hi may name is ______ what is yours? Nice to meet you. What you school do you go to?
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My social skills are in the toilet . Truth is I find it very hard to initiate a conversation . Small talk wise I 'll say something ultra simple like âHow are you doing?â to my stepdaughter and granddaughters . Thatâs about my level of initiating a conversation .
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I get asked âHow are you?â a lot - probably because I look bad but anyway, I have a few humorous answers like âAble to sit up and take nourishment.â and " Good enough for an old lady."
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Thanks all. I already improvedâŚI can do one on one conversationsâŚbut groups are thougher and this party is every year and i just dont feel comfortable with the people. I go there for my friend who hosts it, because he would be sad if i wasnt there. But im always happy it is over.
It is good to realise many people feel the same about socializing.
This time of year is definitely harder when there are expectations to attend social gatherings.
I am the same as you. I find it very hard. It always seems the person with the biggest mouth doesnât let you get a word in edgeways and that makes me shut down.
Itâs kinda like a dominance game from what I have seen, and I am just not like that.
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Yes, that is exactly it, the dominance game. It is what i hate.
Oh well. Im already a lot more social than i was.
Iâm in a similar situation. I have to go to a party on 15th december with 30 people Iâve never seen before (they are friends of my husband) and I feel anxious because my social skills are not good.
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Hmm. Sorry. I think a lot of us understand here. Can your husband help you out a bit? E.g. check if you are comfortable, introduce you to someone you might like, stand by you?
Yes, he can. But I donât know if Iâll feel confortable or not. I know Iâll be the weird one.
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Good! I understandâŚi hope you will be comfortable. I dont have good advice for you, because my way of dealing with it is just to bear it until it is over. But i hope you will still have an okay time. There might be other odd and uncomfortable people? 
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