Had a down day


Had a down day. Took to bed even more than usual and of course it’s now gone 3 and no hint of sleep.
I wonder how many have always had a problem interacting and making friends and for how many the problem kicked in after the advent of SA.
I was always on the quiet,introverted side but the SA and paranoia sprang from negative peer relationships due to physical and social awkwardness. I’ve never been the sort to be liked(here is something of an exception),respected ,by a few people,maybe.
Took till 57 to be told in a supporting letter for ESA that I have very poor social skills which no doubt accounts for much of the social ineptitude. Of course social skills training is not seen as being beneficial in NHS psychiatric circles, unlike the US, so a problem decades long has been brushed under the carpet.
Got something of a split personality over company. Sometimes ok with my own space but not 98-99% of the time and yet get anxious and edgy if anyone gets too close to me and don’t really know how to cope with it.
Entered into email correspondence with someone but after a initial flurry it soon bombed. Can’t blame the other person as it’s par for the course with me. Truth is I have little of interest to say and responding reactively to what others say isn’t a recipe for a prolonged exchange of emails. People soon get fed up with me. Knowing that perhaps I shouldn’t open up the communication channel. They say if you don’t try you’ll never succeed but how many failures can you put yourself through?


I think you should keep trying. You’ll get better at it.


Firemonkey has made an improvement by talking to us on this forum. He rarely interacted with other people before on the old forum.


you have said funny things to me that have made me laugh, so you have a great sense of humour.
communication is hard for muggles and sz alike.
i find it very difficult face to face and feel awkward when people pm me on here, i feel vulnerable, though i am able to say something it is not natural for me.
social ’ skills ’ are exactly that …’ skills '…they are learnt and practiced.
take care from the sane :alien:


There are a lot of internal barriers for me too. I know I post about what I think but hardly ever about what I feel. Often I don’t know what I feel. A psychologist once said to me that when I’m asked, I “report” my feelings rather than saying them, and I realized he was telling me the truth… for me it was like a book report.


When you do find one that accepts and understands what you have to share it will be that much better. Keep hope. You make 100% of the shots you don’t take, and whats the worst that happened? You found out early, one had very acute limits. You’re still alive. You’re here seeking and receiving advice and support. Keep on going! A lot of people have your back @firemonkey


Hey Twang, It doesn’t matter whether your response to a conversation is like a report of feeling or not, as long as it IS a response from a conversation partner, the converse will be valid and helpful. So don’t be fooled by the comments of your psychologist. Everybody has his/her style of communication, some are more straight forward, some are scholarly.


I think I read this right. It does matter to me, because I have valid reasons to not communicate with people. It’s dangerous territory.


Of course, you can be reserved whenever you like to be. Some people are talktive while some people are a bit reserved and reticent.


Maybe it would help to think what you really want to do. You might not be cut out to socialize, however if you really want to it’s good that you keep trying. That means you are cut out to try and improve.

I socialize rarely + only with family + people I’ve known a long time.

I think you go through times when your posts are richer - or poorer. It comes with the territory. And your communication has improved greatly here since the old days.


Life is all about learning from failures and not giving up. Believe me, I’ve had my share of failures.


I grew up painfully shy, and any talk directed at me would turn me into a beet red mute. People thought I was retarded. Maybe just a bit.
Then around the time I got Dx’d SZA, I guess I quite caring about what others thought of me and It made me more comfortable with interacting with others.
I think it’s just as important to learn to be comfortable with others in silence as well. Just being with someone and allowing the silence to be ok.
Conversations naturally die off when the subject gets exhausted, and if your still comfortable with someone’s presence, It is good to be around them.


Silence is a rough social environment for me, my body starts sweating, making random robotic movements and I have to remember to breathe and end up swallowing loudly. Some sort of focus needs to be met other than silence for me. I’m glad you’ve learned to enjoy that type of experience…theres still hope.


I couldn’t agree more.


You have very good insight about human interactions, csummers. I always felt comfortable with your replies to the posts on this forum. You are a good communicator.


The thing is I’ve heard the term bandied about but trying to get a definition of what they entail is nigh on impossible . How can you practise and learn if you are not given the things to practise and learn?


that is what cbt is doing for me, helping me move beyond my ’ comfort ’ zone.
take care :alien:



A pdoc thought I had something called Dyspraxia on top of Paranoid Sz. Have you googled that word before? It impairs motor skills and social skills.


Moderate Risk

Your results suggest a moderate risk of you having dyspraxia. Your risk may be related to fine motor skills (e.g. writing, tying shoelaces,) or gross motor skills (e.g. catching a ball). Problems with fine motor skills can make daily life more difficult, whilst poor gross motor skills

As well as the problems above, particular symptoms or signs in school-age children include:

Difficulty participating in group situations - being much better one-on-one.
Problems with maths and writing, including having trouble copying things from the board in school.
Poor concentration and listening skills.
An inability to follow instructions.
Avoidance of physical education in school or physical activities with friends.
Anger and frustration.

In adulthood, particular symptoms or signs may also include:[3]

Problems with planning and organisation.
Difficulty learning new skills at work and at home (such as DIY).
Difficulty when learning to drive.

I am prone to bumping into things
Sometimes trip when out walking
Poor spatial awareness
A messy eater
Bad at sports
Struggle with manual/practical tasks
Bad handwriting especially when rushing
Very immature drawing skills
Was nearly 14 before I could ride a bike
Poor sense of direction
Difficulty remembering spoken instructions, prefer things written down.


I didn’t bold driving as have never had official driving lessons. However I know given my spatial awareness and visuospatial skills (both poor) that I would never pass a driving test.
I have done lateral parking simulations online and can never successfully park the car, bumping into other cars umpteen times before giving up.