So first off, I’m in psychosis right now (SZA Diagnosed). I find talking about what I’m experiencing really helps me, gets it out of my head. I’m on meds, but for whatever reason they’re no longer working. I will be talking to my doctors, rest assured.
I’ve always tiptoed around my delusions and hallucinations but finally feel the need to be more honest.
I used to be Pagan, thinking what I was experiencing were gods and spirits and went down an entire rabbit hole, trying to satisfy my voices. They would range anywhere from Norse mythology, to Greek, to even those who have passed on in my life. Some of these I’ve felt I had very real relationships with, to the point where I was originally diagnosed with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) from the vibrancy of my voices.
I’ve been taking my meds but now all of these sensations are back. The feeling that there’s mystical powers beyond humans, the sensation of spirits and omnipotent beings being there, feeling watched and judged, everything. I’m just so tired. I just want my meds to work and I feel so discouraged that taking them and caring for myself hasn’t been working to keep all this at bay.
I could really use some kind words from the community or anyone who relates.
For me it’s all aliens all the time when my positive symptoms become florid. I find that distracting myself with enjoyable activities reduces my stress level, which in turn lowers my positive symptoms. This is a good place to start. What do you like to do that relaxes you?
I struggle with this too. Trying to define what I believe and how to act accordingly. I know overall to be a good person, but this illness messes with our intuition. I have also been asking myself what the best way is–if I should just stop ruminating about forming a belief system maybe it will just come to me. The medication is helping me a lot though, I feel like it is bringing me more back to my spiritual nature in a healthy way.
I have found that whether or not its real, having the motivation and confidence that it will pass can be beneficial. I do believe in the God who governs humanity. I think there are multiple realms of reality. My higher power/spirit guides constantly warn me about revealing too much online. Im not supposed to speak about this stuff on the internet and its 1am. I crave sharing this information so much and I dont know why. Its kind of exciting to me, what its like.
When you have a Gift you want to share it, but not everyone sees this as a Gift.
So sorry to hear that. Accepting the fact is a good start. I was down that rabbit hole and is hard not to feel tempted to see where it leads.
There might be mystical powers and all sorts of beings, but in the end you know they will not help.
I do not know if this would help, but to protect yourself, beside the meds you need some spiritual protection, a religion, a church a comunity. I find it easyer and more settelung to belive in one God.
I just woke up so, but it looks to me like some of you all are starting to feed off and may even be feeding in more delusions. Remember, we are here to help the OP, not state our own delusions as reality.
Edit: This is not a thread for stating your own delusions as fact or feeding in obviously dubious studies. If you arent stable enough to contribute to ops recovery oriented thread, perhaps this is not the thread for you.
I would ask myself what I believe and then more importantly ask myself why I believe it.
If you could go back in time and see how you were taught and indoctrinated into these beleifs then you can see how you have been programmed by parents, society, groups into believing such things.
It is ok; we have all been programmed to some degree. Some more so than others.
The existential questions still remain, but if you live in a clean, scientific method then life becomes a lot easier. It stops people going down rabbit holes, and living in flights of fancy and imagination.
Live in truth, not what someone else tells you you should believe by what has been handed down the generations like myths and tradition. Break the mould to which your opinions have been poured and formed.
Magical thinking and hope in an external presence to help you will in fact never happen. Humans just attribute with confirmation bias ‘reasons’ as to why it exists, but ignore it when it doesn’t happen.
These hallucinations are just self projections, and even people who aren’t schizophrenic will eventually see everything they believe in, if they believe it hard enough. It is not special, just wishful thinking manifested in self projection. It is not truth, just imagination.
If you challenge why you think the way you do and not just blindly accept what some authority has told you then you begin a journey of self introspection. With sz the hallucinations may never go away, but the nature of them will change according to your next beliefs. It is just what you expect to hear or see or smell, or feel etc…
You have to ground yourself in beliefs that are reasonable. I know that sounds difficult, but it may be easier than you think. One way to do it would be to just watch videos about science.
Unfortunately, I know my warning signs. I’m considered to be “high functioning” (don’t really like that term) as someone with SZA and am pretty good at being aware when I’m delusional. Unfortunately doesn’t make the delusion go away. Where I’m at right now is a huge warning sign for me, a big red flag. I’m just able to voice it.
