You guys know nothing about my love life- but if you knew me you’d know this is the guy I fell madly in love with. It was honestly love at first sight and I’m glad I got to experience such a thing.
We were together for 3 years, and ultimately drugs drove us crazy and broke us up. But we always kept love for each other. He was with me before I started hearing my thoughts out loud. He was also with me while I had some psychotic episodes.
Since the break up I haven’t gotten over him not one bit, and I haven’t been attracted to anyone else. Him always being on my mind. We’ve kept in contact since the break up, always messaging letting one another know the love is definitely still there. But here lately he’s been more into me, more intense feelings.
ANYWAYS I hung out with him and it went really good.
We talked about how we love each other and how he wants to be my only one, and how one day he wants me to move back in with him… All kinds of stuff.
I just don’t know if he deserves someone like me, like he needs someone smarter and more put together. (Like I used to be :,( ) But I guess it gives me confidence that even after hanging out with me he still loves me. Maybe I’m not as noticeably crazy as I think I am.
When we hung out I heard my thoughts out loud a few times and I panicked a little and thought ■■■■ he’s gonna hear me and think I’m crazy.
But his vibe kind of chilled me out a little bit. I don’t know how to explain it.
We’re hanging out again in a few days, as soon as he’s available.
Again I know you don’t probably don’t care, but I like to pretend you do.
We already discussed we will NEVER use again. And we have to completely honest and not use behind each other’s back. And thank you for being convinced I’m good enough.
… This is why I love this site. Y’all make me feel so much better.
That’s what I believe.
I also believe if you truly fall in love, that you never fall out of it. The love will always be there.
What you do with that love is up to you though.
I’m choosing to stick with it and see where it goes.
He kept telling me about how I’m the one and he wants to marry me, and all he will ever want is me.
It’s so hard to believe that someone actually loves me that much. Like really hard to believe, but I have to trust that he’s not just saying this stuff and he actually means it.
I mean… Who would make all that stuff up…
I saw so much ■■■■ around that I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to trust a guy…
Anyways sorry my negativity…love is beautiful and I’m happy for you. (:
Just watch your back and keep it safe.
I have trust issues too. He’s done some really really messed up ■■■■ in the past. Plus I’m like paranoid that he doesn’t really love me and I’m just wasting my time. Idk
But I hope you find a guy that changes your mind one day. Everyone deserves their own love
I’m glad he makes your symptoms calm down. That is a really good sign. It means you feel safe and trusting around him, at least subconsciously. Honesty is so important if you guys decide to get back together. Tell him about hearing your thoughts out loud, maybe brainstorm different coping strategies with him. If he’s right for you, he will want to be an active part of your recovery team. Glad you guys are deciding to keep off the drugs.
I have opened up a little about this, and he’s suggested certain vitamins to help me out. Last night he suggested iodine because he’s been taking it and it’s calmed him down and made him feel overall a lot better. He’s on this health kick… Lol spending like $120 on a bottle of vitamins. But he wants to buy me some to see if it helps me out.
The way he said it too, he was like “Well let’s see if we can get you some vitamins to get you feeling better”. Like we’re a team and he’s encouraging me and helping me to get better. Ahhh
That is wonderful! Make sure you check with your doctor before trying new vitamins. Some can interact dangerously with medication, and some can be toxic in high doses. But they can make a huge difference too!
But he wants to buy me some to see if it helps me out.