Got up early today instead of eight thirty I got up at four forty four. I drank some coffee and looked at my chore scheduler on my phone. The only chores I could do were spray jaspers tank, let out the dogs and scoop cat boxes. I couldn’t feed any of the animals without throwing them off schedule.
Sounds like you have had a productive morning. Good for you!
I hope so! Fed the animals, and cleaned up a little. I have to keep quiet so my partner can sleep. She works 5:00 pm to 5:00 am tonight I worry that if we they put me on a second AP again I will lose motivation but the voices and other hallucinations will lessen.
In my opinion it’s better to have the voices lessen than keep motivation. It sucks either way though.
I should talk to my therapist about it. But I worry she will say that too. My inlaws like how I have been doing lately so they figure I can handle more responsibility. So they have me taking care of their third dog and the guest’s dog too.
I am sorry that they put so much responsibility on you. That must be hard.
It seems that the added responsibility at least keeps you busy, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing. As long as you don’t get too overwhelmed. But I think you need to put your well-being ahead of the extra stuff you are doing for everyone else. At times you seemed to be having such a hard time that I was a little worried. But I think you finally were able to see a doctor and get some meds to help you feel better. I wish you the best, I’m glad you got some help and are doing a little better. But you do need to be allowed to take care of yourself first, and then take care of the others around you.
I don’t even know what to say about those people anymore. But you realize you’re partly to blame too, right? I know where you’re coming from @cbbrown. I let myself be treated like that in many ways when I was young and had no self-esteem or confidence because I was 13 and shy and withdrawn.
The way I was treated by friends still effects me now in some ways. Hopefully, this period of your life having to deal with these people will not have lasting effects once you get out. Lets hope so. I hope you are at least doing a little something to help you and your partner get out of there eventually. It’s been a long time. Can’t you at least take 5 or ten minutes once a day or even once a week to make some kind of rough plan to get out of there? Taking an hour each week would be ideal but 5 minutes is better than nothing.
I get up every morning at 5.15 am
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