I have one from earlier this week. I had a friend over and she challenged me to an arm wrestling match. We’re both pretty scrawny college kids but she’s 5’11 and I’m 5’3 and she absolutely destroyed me. That was Tuesday; it’s now Sunday and my arm is still killing me. Just call me Hercules I guess 
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Man, I have several really good ones.
A couple wrestling ones too.
None are forum appropriate.
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PMs are an option if you’d like to share.
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I can’t think of one of me right off the bat but there was a little funny moment yesterday.
I was in church and we stood up at the end and the guy next to me totally ripped a fart as he stood up. The place was packed and I’m sure everyone around us heard it. Then the smell kicked in and it took all me to stop from busting out laughing 
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In middle school I sat behind the cutest girl in the school in math class. I sneezed and huge chunk of snot landed on the back of her head. She reached back and when she saw what it was she started gagging.
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I was cleaning the kitty litter box, the scooper was stuck, so I pushed harder, my mouth hanging open with the effort. Suddenly, the shitt gave way and there was litter and shitt scattered everywhere, including in my mouth. Not fun, but funny.
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Sure, I was partying with this girl and we were fooling around in my car. We ran out of drug money so we went to an ATM downtown. I got out and withdrew some money and was walking back and heard her shriek, “Your dic*s hanging out.” I looked down and sure enough she was right. I wasn’t wearing any underwear and neglected to zip up so I was flopping around in the breeze in public. What was funny was it didn’t even phase me, I just looked down and laughed and put it back in and got in the car. She was totally embarrassed though and freaked out, lol.
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When I played little league baseball. I was up to bat, and I swung at a pitch and missed the ball…and I farted at the same time…and I thought imagine the catcher!
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I remember during little league baseball tryouts…the coaches were testing to see how good we were with fly balls. They had a machine that shot out baseballs. They aimed the machine, almost straight up. They made a mistake and the machine made the balls go too high up in the air. The balls went at least 50 feet in the air. One boy miss judged the ball, and the ball hit him right on his head…the ball even bounced off his head like 3 feet. He didn’t get hurt though.
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When I was 16, I was sitting in the school’s computer room. I felt a sneeze coming on, but the guy I liked was there and my sneezes are LOUD
so I pinched my nose and flexed my stomach muscles to supress the sneeze, and…
Pushed out the world’s largest fart.
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I was being interviewed for a new school at age thirteen and the principal asked what I learned in science and I told him some stuff I’d learned and then I said we learned about orgasms thinking organisms. Both my mom and the principal kept a straight face and after a few minutes I realized what I’d said I turned beet red.
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When I was 17 I asked out this cute waitress at the restaurant I was working at.
That’s all I need to say, it was humiliating.
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When I was up around NYC, I moved to NJ for a couple of years, but was always in and out of the city; I drove in.
When I was 21, I had a job interview at some art place (I barely remember). I drove into the city and parked near my friend’s building at 10th and Broadway since I was going to be meeting up with her later. At the time, I drove a black Camaro.
The job interview was awful. I literally waited on a couch for FOUR hours holding my portfolio. Finally, the dude came out, flipped through it, made a few comments, and that was it. I remember being so worn out and aggravated.
So I was already having a bad day at this point.
Took the train (subway) back down to my friend’s neighborhood where my car was. I was walking up Broadway, and as I turned onto 10th, I saw some guy breaking into my car. In broad daylight. So I started running down the street screaming, “Stop that guy! He’s breaking into my car!”
People stopped and stared. Even the thief stopped and looked up at me.
And as I got closer, I watched as that “thief” was, indeed, getting into a black Camaro – the one parked right in front of mine.
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When I was 3 years old, my older sister and I were having an aggressive pillow fight. Well, I hurt my nose and got really sad.
My sister said to put my nose up to her butt and that it would make my nose stop hurting… Me, being a stupid 3 year old, fell for it. She farted right in my face. 
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Oh, man. Big sisters are ■■■■■■■■.
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My buddy Dave and I were out drinking one night. We were totally slaughtered, and went to a Chinese food restaurant.
When our food came, Dave didn’t like the lemon chicken so he called the waiter over. When the waiter came over, he shoved the piece of chicken in his face and smear the sauce all over his nose.
Two guys came out of the kitchen, took him out back and kick the s*** out of him. He showed up at my door about an hour later with a black eye and a bloody lip.
Guess you had to be there
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I was on a fishing trip and I ate some bad taco bell. I drove up to the gas station and there was a hot blonde behind the counter. I asked if I could use the bathroom and she said yeah. I couldn’t get my pants down fast enough. I destroyed the bathroom. I didn’t get any on me but I feel sorry for whoever had to clean the toilet. As I was leaving the girl was trying to strike up a conversation with me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
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When I was a kid, I was at a specialist doctor for some tests. I was being asked about different things in the beginning (how I was sleeping, any pains, etc). Then the doctor asked “school?” and I perked up and exclamed “good!” because I was getting really good grades. The doc got a strange look on his face as he paused for a second, then continued on. A couple seconds later I realized he had asked about my “stool”, as in poop. I was so embarrassed but I kept my mouth shut.
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I have one that sticks out in my mind. It is kind of rated R. Not sure if I should share it. I’ll try not to be crude.
Well, one time (long ago) I was intimate with my girlfriend. She was giving me fellatio. It lasted a few minutes, I looked down and she moved her head then grabbed me, I ejaculated square on my forehead. She had a good laugh, I was super embarrassed, turned crimson red.
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