Good days and bad days


So many bad days behind me. Internal turmoil delusional thinking obsession with hallucinations… It been a rough few weeks.

Today finally a good day. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to get over this illness. That I might silence and sanity again. Normality. Normal people are so awesome. They are all just having a good time. Free from all the ■■■■ that torments me. I want that life so badly and I feel bad for wasting the life I had on drugs and ego.

Yes to me in this moment it is clearly not real. On the surface I am normal. If only I can get the reigns on my mind and bring it back in.

I worked two jobs with this illness and had to quit because it was just hell.

Thank god for a government that takes care of its disabled people.

Best wishes to all of you who have suffered through this. There is hope. I had given up on it but it has rebounded. We can still live out normal lives.


This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


Yeah it’s all so complex man. Inputs and outputs. Psychology chemistry time persistence of symptoms. It would wear on the strongest people. I can garuantee though that you have good days in your future.


This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


Yeah you hang in there @BryanAshley and @SnowyOwl1 both of you guys are young and have have a lot more living to do - take it from an old timer like me who also has been through a lot in his life -
Life does not always suck, things do get better.
These illnesses sometimes mellow as we get older


Yeah that’s a good point. My peers are still using drugs and drinking a lot. I’ve decided I want to do neither. Yeah it’s not Alzheimer’s. It is intimidating to think of the success stories are out there. I think about college a lot and how I ■■■■■■ that up.

At least I have no debt and a reliable car and a roof over my head and some good friends. There is not a lot of networking going on in this town so it’s hard for me to meet new and interesting people. Let alone a gf who would deal with a sz man. But a man can dream though. It’s certainly more healthy than what I was doing.


Thanks wave. It’s inspiring to see a survivor.