Good days and bad days

So many bad days behind me. Internal turmoil delusional thinking obsession with hallucinations… It been a rough few weeks.

Today finally a good day. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to get over this illness. That I might silence and sanity again. Normality. Normal people are so awesome. They are all just having a good time. Free from all the ■■■■ that torments me. I want that life so badly and I feel bad for wasting the life I had on drugs and ego.

Yes to me in this moment it is clearly not real. On the surface I am normal. If only I can get the reigns on my mind and bring it back in.

I worked two jobs with this illness and had to quit because it was just hell.

Thank god for a government that takes care of its disabled people.

Best wishes to all of you who have suffered through this. There is hope. I had given up on it but it has rebounded. We can still live out normal lives.

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Yeah it’s all so complex man. Inputs and outputs. Psychology chemistry time persistence of symptoms. It would wear on the strongest people. I can garuantee though that you have good days in your future.

Yeah you hang in there @BryanAshley and @SnowyOwl1 both of you guys are young and have have a lot more living to do - take it from an old timer like me who also has been through a lot in his life -
Life does not always suck, things do get better.
These illnesses sometimes mellow as we get older

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Yeah that’s a good point. My peers are still using drugs and drinking a lot. I’ve decided I want to do neither. Yeah it’s not Alzheimer’s. It is intimidating to think of the success stories are out there. I think about college a lot and how I ■■■■■■ that up.

At least I have no debt and a reliable car and a roof over my head and some good friends. There is not a lot of networking going on in this town so it’s hard for me to meet new and interesting people. Let alone a gf who would deal with a sz man. But a man can dream though. It’s certainly more healthy than what I was doing.

Thanks wave. It’s inspiring to see a survivor.

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