So after quite a long absence from school and odd jobs that never lasted and then the onset of my illness, Ive decided to go back to school, get a masters in social work and start a career. The only problem is that, though i’m doing well with meds and symptoms, I still have awful days. My husband is very supportive but he’s also trying to caution me because most of the time i don’t realize i’m having a “bad” day. Of course when emotions are high its obvious but other things like negative symptoms, I just dont see because they are so natural to me. And what about positive symptoms? What do i do when i hallucinate in class and cant concentrate? What happens when tests overwhelm me?
Sometimes I feel like i could do anything but sometimes all i want to do is lay in bed, eat ice cream, and binge watch Netflix.
I’m also having problems filling my day productively . I have no idea what to spend my time doing. I dont work and i feel like i just sit around all day. If i knew what to do, I’d do it. I’ve gotten school set up as far as i can and i’m studying for my driver’s permit test. Other than the usual cooking and cleaning, I’m at a complete loss of what to do with myself that isnt just killing time.
Any experiences or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
People in AA sometimes find themselves with new time when they stop drinking. Therefore, they pray for guidance during the day to “do the next right thing”.
Hey, I went back to school too. First it’s easy because you’re excited, then the load of work starts and you need discipline to study and not sit watching netflix all day or playing games.
About the positive symptoms, you can do it with them, you just learn how, it’s not that difficult. I was really suffering from them in school, but it got easier with time. My advide is: take notes of everything, even if you’re not realy listening, so you can read them at home and study.
About the negative symptoms, you can work around them. Try to shower at least every two days, better in the morning so you feel fresh
Too true. I write everything down and memorize it and the texts. Graduated top in my major at a large southern university (psychology) and going to begin a doctorate this fall.
I am a smart kid. I also have motivation. For example, my negative symptoms are very not really a problem. I just hate grooming and self care in the mirror but that’s more like dissociative symptoms looking like negative symptoms.
I am a go-getter, ■■■■ it up, get it done, do it now person. I thrive off of stuff to do. Like right now I am awake at 2am CST from the chronic nightmares again, dressed in workout clothes drinking Gatorade plotting my morning workout. Now that’s odd, most people would be less than excited right now. I get away from this mental illness hell by studying the science of it, and I have a solid career by doing just that.
Be eager to learn and never settle for “that’s enough” for more than a week after finals.
Education sort of saved my life, but if you aren’t a scholar type, if hours with books and papers isn’t your idea of a good life, don’t do it.
I love to learn, thats true. Mostly i love to learn about stars and physics and the universe. It seems odd that i would go the social work route but honestly, I want to learn about my illness, others, and how to help. I think it would be a good fit for me. I just hope i can keep up with such a break in schooling.
I got my Bachelor’s and Master’s degree from a State University years after my diagnosis. I stabilized with meds and went against my doctor’s advice to just “rest,” instead transferring the university and attending it full time throughout undergrad and graduate courses.
I had bumps. Positive symptoms came, paranoia came, extreme delusions came. The “residual voices” came, but I never had that unending stream of voices and hallucinations like before, thanks to the medicine. I would “ground” myself in class a lot. If I got nervous, panicked, whatever, I’d doodle flowers on my notes to distract myself. Or I’d get up and use the restroom just to get out for a while.
Negative symptoms are harder, but university is a great environment to re-adapt to socializing with others.
Maybe connect with your school’s office for students with disabilities. I did, and they provided a letter to my professors stating that I had a disability that might need accommodation. I never really used the accommodation, but it was a good thing I went to them because at one point, I failed out due to a minor relapse (mostly from the “affective” part of my schizo-affective) and then I had proof that I really did have a disability that affected my academics. I got readmitted and graduated with my Master’s degree.
@VALIS I looooove your name. PKD! PKD! Have you read clans of the alphane moon?? That is my favorite Philip K Dick book, right after the VALIS trilogy!
@valis it can be hard to motivate yourself sometimes. I have really struggled with this. I never used to be able to get things done i would let the negative thoughts and beliefs stop me from proceeding. Now the thing that has changed is my support network. I have more support than ove ever had before which helps me to fight through. Their are times where i believe that all my egforts are futile and that it is impossible to accomplish anything anyways so why bother. But ove started to really push back and when i want to quit or run away i no longer do. When the pain gets so bad and i wish i died i dont. I keep fighting even when i percieve only negativity. Sure sometimes o dont get as much done as i want but i dont let that sfop me anymorw i keep walking. I keep fighting even when there are no good choices or answers and every dorection leads to more pain. I close my eyes and tell myself to take one more step and soon it will be over. I have learned that not doing things doesnt help me and doing things doesnt always help me as much as i would like but i always tell myself that one day ill do it. One day i will do something great and i hope that at that time i can look back and think to myself it would all be worth it.
@Serene … Something that has taken me long to do (realizing that i just need to keep going and it’ll be over soon). I’m very used to catastrophing things.
@HQuinn… I have not actually. Ive been meaning to get back to reading in general.
@valis yea ot took me years to get to the point im at now. Ots too bad your used to that, not that its bad your coping but becausr no one should have to experience that in my opinion.
One day at a time. Stay away from alcohol and coffee in excess. Make sure you are getting to bed on time.
Perhaps speak with your doctor about an anti-anxiety med if you don’t have on. It might help keep you relaxed when the real stress hits.
School is tough for everyone. If it get’s to be too much, don’t take it personally, it is meant to be that way so that you have to stretch yourself and get through very tough tasks.
