Thank you. I’ve had a very rough weekend. My 18 year old came to my place last night at 10pm and Midnight begging for food. You see he spent all his money on drugs. It was raining, cold and he no longer has a jacket anymore for some reason. It is just one more piece of this terrible puzzle I am in. I didn’t fall asleep until after 4am this morning and I woke up from a dream in which I had driven myself to the hospital because my heart hurt so badly. When I woke up the left side of my chest hurt so badly. I can’t even get a break in my dreams.
Oh yeah, I have been seeing docs since 2001.
I would definitely like to get out in nature. I do live near tons of it, but I’m so afraid now of leaving my safety zone. I don’t have anyone to go with me either.
I have not read that book. I’ll give it a look. I am on Linkedin, Indeed and Monster. This is just total BS that our economy is so great and unemployment is so low. I can’t even get a freakin job as a cashier or stock boy or even a data entry position even though I have such a huge background in computers and web design. I even see an employment specialist ever week that tries to assist me. As for a pet, no I do not have one. I am not allowed to have a dog or cat where we live now. I had a bird but I had to get rid of it last year because the neighbors complained on how loud he was.
Could you volunteer at an animal shelter?
One of my friends said something profound once.
‘We love dogs because their love is so simple’.
I assume that you’re not being bombed in your own neighborhood nor is there a war at your front door. So leave those off of the list of things to worry about. Let the military handle those problems and you just worry about yourself and your kid (s?)
When it comes to jobs, I figure that if I am healthy and if I am teachable than I can work. Do you feel that you can handle a job? If you think you can handle a job than keep looking. Do employers think you’re over-qualified? Is that the problem? When you go looking for work, you get rejected. It happens so you keep looking.
Yes, there’s a huge world out there and it can be overwhelming. And it changes and our perspective changes and shifts and our disease can mess with our mind and trick us and confuse us. I don’t know what to say about you not seeing the world in the same way. Are you just processing too much information? That stuff is far away from us and it’s up to us to sort it out but no matter how smart you are, it is impossible to figure everything out.It’s just not possible. There’s an impossible amount of stuff going on in the world and an impossibly large amount of information out there. It’s up to the individual to pay attention to what he wants to and leave the rest alone.
Maybe you are concentrating too much on the news when you should put your effort someplace else. Maybe I don’t fully grasp your problem with you and the news but I tried. With schizophrenia you lose material belongings sometimes AND mental functioning. You have to swallow your pride and readjust and maybe cut some things out of your life and focus on different things.It’s all about compromising and learning to live your life in a new way if you can.
I hope you have a friend or a therapist you can turn to to unburden yourself of all these worries and problems. In AA they say, “A problem shared is a problem halved”. I wish you good luck.
@zak I agree with Nick, turn off the news for awhile it can be depressing and scary. Maybe watch a funny or happy movie, read a good book, join a support group and share your problems with others who have similar problems. Sounds like you’re having problems with your kid(s), the teenage years can be difficult on the parents, even overwhelming so join a group and vent Remember to take care of yourself. Go for some walks or exercise at home, get some good books from the library. If you can afford it go out for breakfast or lunch. Just do some nice things for yourself. Taking care of three teenagers can burn out even the strongest of people so recharge by doing things to help or enhance yourself and achieve happiness. Maybe you’re just depressed and only seeing the negative, try to look for the good. it’s out there but you won’t find it reading or watching news.
That must be heartbreaking to have your 18 year old come begging for food because he spent everything on drugs… Sorry your life is so challenging now. Hope things look up for you soon. And I hope someone hires you.
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Try going on your own. In my case, it distracts me when I’m not alone. I think it has a meditative advantage when you’re alone out there 
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I think you are right about cutting things out of my life. I have tried for the last two weeks not to pay attention to the news. It was hard at first because I thought I was not going to know what was going on around me, but it was something of a blessing to focus instead on my family during Christmas time. I just kinda feel that if I don’t know what is going on in the world around me, I will get worse. My doc just upped my Zoloft and sleeping med, but I refused for my Invega to go up anymore as I end up with a bad side effect. Thanks for replying Nick.
Thanks Nanny. Yeah, I admit I have been a bit depressed lately. It is just so hard for me to raise my kids alone when I suffer mentally. This evening I was at the store and the cashier asked me if I qualify for the 15% discount. I said I didn’t understand and he said “you are over 55 aren’t you?”? I’m 46. I can’t believe I look that old now. 