Schizophrenia.com

Getting too intense... It's guilt I bet

I was so mad at the weather… silly I know… but I can’t help it.

My sister turns 18 this coming Monday. The birthday party is happening tomorrow so everyone can show up. OF COURSE it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.

All those weeks of heat… and tomorrow is supposed to be the one day it rains in the dry spell. Why does the weather have to do this?

But my sis has been working to calm me down… She LOVES the rain and was saying it’s a gift from nature for her birthday. Besides, there is a huge picnic shelter on the beach she picked. Plus… it’s rain city. People here are used to rain.

I’m getting a bit overly intense about this birthday. I just keep thinking it should be bigger. :circus_tent: :elephant: :horse: :fireworks: :birthday:

My sis made her own birthday cake… which I think is very sad. But again she said, this way it will be exactly what she likes, and 100% cheeper then buying one. (plus she does make good cake)

I think I’m getting to intense about this…

2 Likes

I think you just want it to be special for her, I think that’s wonderful; you both have such a close relationship that even though you’re going through a rough patch, she’s still your kid sis and you want it to be the best for her. Am I on the right track?

Try deep breathing and distraction, repeat any mantras you use, I’m sure it will all go well, I know this birthday is such a big event for you that even though you don’t really want it to happen (meaning you still want her to be young) you want everything to be just so, to make that day go well. I get like it for special events also, I dread it, my head starts pounding but all I really want is for my mum or whoever to have a good day.

Maybe have a bath and put some relaxing music on? I think the key fact is to get yourself into a relaxed state today (as much as possible), and the pressure you’re feeling for this day will ease a bit, also accepting that things may happen that you don’t like but brush it off, watch your sis, see if she reacts to it and if if she’s not, it’s nothing to worry about?

I know this is big for you, you can get through it, I’m rooting for you,
Take care,
Meg.

2 Likes

Thank you for this…

when I saw the clouds in the sky and read that it’s going to rain tomorrow… that was the snap for me. But my sis does love rain and was saying that in the cooler temps, the ice cream won’t melt.
She is an optimist to the end.

I do have a confession… it’s not a pretty one… I most likely won’t feel better until I make it right… I’ve been a wall.

I’ve told my youngest brother that the best way to get a handle on his bipolar illness is to avoid triggers. (so far so good)

Then I told him that because he’s focused his anger at our sis these past 20 months, maybe there is something about her that triggers him… (Ok, still so far so good)

so I’ve been trying to convince him that to avoid all discomfort… he should never attempt to speak to her or see her again as long as he lives. That the mere presence of her would most likely destroy all progress he’s made and it would just be better for him to cut his losses and pretend he doesn’t have a sister any more for ever and ever.

I don’t think he’s going to listen to me on that one. He seemed a bit upset when I tried to convince him of this… I have to make amends now I bet.

I was able to talk him out of going to her graduation. They didn’t cross paths at the wedding. I was trying to keep him from going to her birthday. I guess I should set this right and let him make the choice on his own…

I can see why you did that and I’m not going to judge. But maybe it would be wise to sit down with him have a good chat; explain why you said what you did, in a way you feel comfortable, and ask him what he thinks should be best when it comes to his relationship with your sis?

It could be you work out a little integration thing, so little meetings, gradually building into bigger meetings so neither is too stressed and eventually the effect of his illness would have worn off a bit?

Do you feel up to that? Maybe you could talk it through in therapy too? See what they suggest and how best to approach it that won’t put too much pressure on you?

1 Like

Thank you for your kind understanding. I am mad at myself for acting like this. I know it can’t keep going like this. It’s exhausting trying to keep them completely separated.

I’ve never had a flip out about the rain… so it’s a big warning sign for me to start making this right.

Thank you for that as well. It’s time to do something. I had a bit of an odd idea…
Copy & paste the bit I just wrote, e-mail it to our parents and ask for some ideas or help.

1 Like

that is such a sz comment that you wanted the birthday party to be bigger !?!
it will be great.
take care

1 Like