I think I'm getting stressed

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

I’ve started actually pulling out my hair since this weekend.

I had my parents staying this weekend for a big party we had at a pub for our wedding (elopement). And my sister is planning an even bigger, more fancy party in my home town for us to have with my family.

I’ve been doing really tough claims at work at the moment, ending treatments and such, they’re difficult conversations to have and difficult letters to write.

Now our GM wants us to review all our claims (I manage over 200 and the list keeps building). We have to do one a day for a fortnight then it steps up to two a day.

I snapped at my sister (the one planning the party) a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what came over me, I just treated her terribly over the phone. She’s forgiven me and we’re friends again but I can’t forgive myself for how awful I was to her.

Lately I’ve just been feeling really on edge, like I could just lose it at anyone for anything. I want to be around people, I still seek out my friends at work to go to lunch, but when I’m there in the situation, I have no patience for anyone. I just want to tell people to shut up.

I’m having to make a real conscious effort to be nice because my first instinct is to be mean and negative. I’m starting to think there’s something fundamentally flawed with my personality.

I’m not good at recognising stress when it comes upon me, it just escalates until I start hallucinating and such.

I reached out to my sister about it and she recommended I get a psychologist for some therapy to help me cope with stress and symptoms.

I’ve been symptom free (of sz) for a good few months now and handled the stress of an overseas trip ok. And I really don’t want this to escalate and put me back in my recovery because I want to talk to my pdoc about reducing my AP since I’m on the highest dose and I’ve been doing so well.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

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Figuratively or actually? :fearful:

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Literally. I just tug at my hair to pull out the dead ones. I can do it for hours. It’s hard to control it at work.

I edited my first post to say actually now.

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I’m not a doctor but if I was in that position I’d consider a benzo short term. You could always give L-theanine a go too. Stress like that can land you back in hospital.

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I suggest Turtle to find a quiet place or stay at home when nobody around. Stay away from noise, for example. It worked for me, I hope it works for you too.

No, I don’t think it is your character flaw at all. Maybe you are exhausted.

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That’s what Mr Turtle recommends. I think I’ll take valium to work with me today.

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How often do you take valium?

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very infrequently. I actually can’t remember the last time I took it. It’s very rare for me to use it.

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Sounds like an extremely good plan then. Just something to get you over this.

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I’m going to talk to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a psychologist at his clinic. I think the psychologists there do CBT which is probably best suited to coping with stress.

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It can’t hurt to give it a go. I’m very poor at handling stress myself. I just try to avoid stressful situations. But that just masks the problem I guess.

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Mr Turtle is going to get me a rubber band today to snap on my wrist when I feel like pulling at my hair.

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I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I don’t have any good suggestions, as I deal with the same problem. I get stressed out very easily and when I do I’m not a nice person. I hope you start to feel better soon.

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If that works that would be great. Maybe with the valium you won’t feel the need to do so as well.

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Thanks @anon68237654 - it really sucks, I hate feeling like this.

I remember I felt like this in my twenties when I was coming out of a protracted psychosis phase and I had to make a real effort to turn it around.

@everhopeful - I’m will to try anything I can, I really don’t want this to escalate and have me either snap at someone at work and lose my job, or end up psychotic and having to take loads of time off work again.

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@anon84763962 I feel your situation. Could you possibly be going manic? I don’t know your history. BUt sounds a lot like mixed states mania. Godspeed

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Try L-theanine too

Or importing it from iherb.com might be cheaper.

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Thanks. I don’t get manic, I have straight down the line schizophrenia.

@everhopeful I’ll look into buying some l theanine on the weekend. Thanks for the link.

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Ive tried that particular brand (doctors best suntheanine) and it was quite good. Other brands have been hit and miss.

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sorry @anon84763962 I have a similar problem. =(

Just hang in there until it is over and if you find a good solution, let me know. I need to take L Theane too soon. I am anxious, negative, angry at minimum but I have become a ‘not too bad actress’ work in progress . =(

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