I feel very lucky right now. The first few weeks of parenting were super rough. I was trying to do it all on my own, and wasn’t asking for help from Mr. Star or anyone in my support network. I nearly blew a fuse, but I managed to hold it together. Thanks to some amazing foster care support people, Mr. Star, and my best friend, I now feel properly supported. I’ve learned that my needs are not less important than other people’s. I’ve learned that people are very willing to step up and help, but I have to ask them first.
Anyways, this is just a thread for talking about ways you make sure your needs are being met.
My Moms health has been going downhill lately so I’ve been working overtime to help her.
My Case Manager said that I should start taking care of myself more.
She said that it’s important to do stuff for myself as well.
It is especially important for those afflicted with a mi not to overdo things.
I have one vacation day a week. I’m on welfare, so I guess every day is a vacation, but what I mean is I have one day where nobody can expect me to do anything.
They can ask, but if I say no, they have to accept it, and it’s the one day a week I don’t feel guilty or like I have to have a valid excuse. I simply say “Sorry, it’s sunday. It’s my rest day.”
I used to run myself ragged, staying with friends day and night and always being ready to hang out. I’ve slowly learnt it’s okay to withdraw and say “I think I’ll sleep at home tonight, so I’m going to take the 9.30 bus”
I’m also starting to learn that if I get hungry after hanging out with friends for hours, it’s okay to ask if they have some food I can eat. I sometimes even offer to go to the store and buy the food for both of us if they don’t have enough.
I used to just go hungry and then pig out when I got home.
I hit a bump in that road a while back, though. I’m from Northern Norway, and there, we don’t say “Hey, can I have a piece of toast?” we simply say “Do you have a piece of toast?” but the “and can I eat it?” is implied.
In Denmark, that confuses people. They’re like “Sure, I have some toast. Why?”
I guess it’s just one of those cultural differences I have to learn.
It’s taken me a long while to learn that my needs are important too, and that I shouldn’t wear myself out trying to supress them to make other people happy. It’s a long process, and I still have some distance to go, but I’m feeling good about it so far.
I’m glad you managed to ask for help and take care of yourself
