I have recently experienced gaslighting? from a new friend who interrupted me while I was talking normally about a phone app to tell me that I need to stop thinking I’m the only one in the world and i need to let go of that mindset of negativity and a bunch of crazy things. It was so random and out of the blue that I just took a step back and was like whoa! Then he went back to talking normally about what we had been talking about before like he didnt even say what he had just said to me! He did this so I had no space to say something to stick up for myself? Obviously he was trying to belittle me and make me think I’m acting some way I am not. I believe he did this cause he knows my diagnosis and thinks because of it he can outwardly put me down so I look crazy to other people. Hes made little put down “jokes” to me in the past covertly, in a way that I’m on the fence of “is he trying to insult me”. But I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt that maybe that’s just how he communicates?
Anyways I was wondering if anybody else has delt with this type of situation, and if so is it because of the diagnosis or just the way that person is?
Seems pretty hard to say given what you describe. That is the nature of gaslighting as far as I know though. I guess you have to go with your instincts… Or you could ask the person what they meant, that might not be appropriate.
It’s an interesting thing having a mental illness that youre honest about. It seems like every time I tell people about my struggles they take it upon themselves to psychoanalyze me and tell me what I should or shouldn’t think and feel.
I’ve started calling people out on it. I politely tell them that I’m currently paying a professional to help me figure out my mental and emotional issues and don’t need an outside and/or untrained party trying to tell me what my problem is.
I can come off as super caddy when I say it, but I try not to be mean or rude. It doesn’t help anything to be aggressive, and most people stop after I’ve pointed it out to them. Assertiveness is the key.
Well I’m kinda new to dealing with normal people since my diagnosis and really dont know if its them personally or if its stigma that’s motivating their attitudes. I have found myself also letting things like this slide and ignoring it because I want someone to talk to. My therapist agrees with me that I have some codependency issues. My biggest fear is that if they are talking like that to my face what are they saying behind my back to people I dont know. This obviously would narrow even furthermy future social interactions. I’m also new to this town so this isn’t a fun start. Lol. But I am at heart pretty outgoing and friendly and I dont think I outwardly seem “crazy”. this is also making me really rethink my decision to be honest and forthcoming about my diagnosis in the future.